Dealing
by SheAngelus
Summary: Okay, the first part of this is post-Grave. DON'T GO AWAY! It has a plot now! and as far as I'm concerned, to me, it seems like one most would like. X-over with LA. B/S F/G C/A
1. 1

Buffy helped Dawn into bed.  
  
"When will you be back?" Dawn asked.  
  
"I don't know, Dawnie. I just need to be with someone who doesn't have to deal with my problems right now."  
  
"What if Spike comes back?"  
  
"I'll talk that over with the others. You just be good and have a nice summer. If I'm not back before school starts, Giles will register you."  
  
"Okay. I'll miss you."  
  
"I'll miss you too, Dawn." Buffy planted a small kiss on Dawn's forehead.  
  
"Bye, Buffy."  
  
"Bye." Buffy moved away from the bed and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.  
  
Downstairs, everyone was in the living room. Willow was curled up on the couch, her head in Xander's lap, who was stroking her head softly. Anya was watching TV. Giles was waiting at the bottom of the steps for Buffy.  
  
Buffy descended the stairs and stood in front of Giles. He gave her a smile before wrapping her a big hug. She hugged him back, tears forming behind her eyes. He let her go and held her at arm's length. "Dawn's in good hands. We'll keep her safe while you're gone."  
  
"Thank you for sticking around. I really appreciate it. Are you sure you don't mind watching Dawn for the rest of the summer?"  
  
"Of course not. I just want you to be happy."  
  
"Hopefully, when I get back, I can be happy-slayer again."  
  
"This year has been quite dark. I wonder if Angel's year was this bad."  
  
"I'll find out soon enough."  
  
He hugged her again. After he let her go, she walked into the living room. Xander and Anya looked up. Willow was half asleep.  
  
Anya stood and gave Buffy an awkward hug. "I can't wait for you to come back. Maybe by that time, we'll have the Magic Box fixed back up again."  
  
"Maybe."  
  
Xander stood slowly, trying not to wake up Willow, but she woke up anyway. He hugged Buffy tightly. "I love you, Buff. I want you to know that."  
  
"I love you too, Xander. You've helped me so much." The tears were flowing freely.  
  
"Don't stay too long. We need you here."  
  
"I'll try. I just need to clear my head and I know he'll listen."  
  
He stopped hugging her and pulled back. Then, he pulled her towards a corner.  
  
"Buffy....I know you don't want to talk about it....but, what if he comes back?"  
  
Buffy looked at the floor. Thought a minute, then looked back up. "Don't kill him."  
  
Xander was about to say something, then closed his mouth and nodded.  
  
"What about Dawn? Is she allowed to see him if she wants?"  
  
"I don't think Dawn's very interested in him right now. But, if she does, that's okay, but he has to be where others are. Like in the Magic Box. Don't let him come in the house. Don't tell him where I'm going."  
  
Xander nodded again. She gave him one more hug before letting go and walking over to where Willow was sitting. Buffy kneeled in front of her.  
  
"Are you going to be okay, Will?"  
  
Willow bit her bottom lip and nodded.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"I'm sure. I'll miss you."  
  
Buffy gave her a hug. "I'll miss you, too."  
  
"Promise you won't stay forever."  
  
"I promise. It's just a visit. Like a vacation."  
  
"You're staying all summer?"  
  
"Maybe. Depends. I might come back tomorrow. It depend on him and me and how this all works out."  
  
Buffy released her and kissed her on the forehead. "Bye, Willow."  
  
"Bye, Buffy."  
  
Buffy stood and walked out of the living room. Her bag was sitting in the hall. She gave Giles one last hug before picking up her bag and opening the door.  
  
"Call us if you need anything," said Giles.  
  
"I will."  
  
Buffy boarded the next buss to LA. She had decided she needed to talk to Angel about her problems. He was the only one that could take the time to listen. She had tried to call him, but the phone was never answered, so she decided she'd just come by.  
  
When the bus dropped her off and in front of the Hyperion, she knew something wasn't right. It was the middle of the night. She walked through the front doors. The place seemed scarce. It hadn't changed much from the last time she had been there, except the large, red symbol in the middle of the room.  
  
"Hello?" she called.  
  
No answer.  
  
She walked behind the desk and picked up the phone. Dead.  
  
"This is too weird."  
  
"Not really," said a voice behind her.  
  
Buffy yelped and spun around. "Oh, Cordelia, it's you." Then, she registered in her mind that Cordy was a little glowy. "What happened to you?"  
  
Cordelia looked at herself. "Oh, this. Just some perks of being a demoness."  
  
"You're a demon?"  
  
"Demoness." Cordelia corrected. "And, yea. I am. Except, this isn't really me. It's kind of like, my costume. If you saw me the way I am now, you wouldn't be able to see for weeks."  
  
"Wait...Your costume? Okay, complete confusion has taken over."  
  
"Okay, let me spell it out for you. Me...Demoness. Demoness equals higher being. Higher being means I don't exist in this dimension anymore."  
  
"Then, why are you here?"  
  
"Because I need to help Fred and Gunn. Unfortunately, I can't find them anywhere, so you'll have to do."  
  
"What do they need help with?"  
  
"Finding Angel."  
  
"Angel? Where'd he go?"  
  
Cordelia threw her arms in the air. "God! For two people who were soul mates, you two sure don't keep in touch much."  
  
"I had my own problems."  
  
"Well, good for you. Wait, let me guess, you didn't even know Angel had a kid."  
  
"He what!?" Buffy shouted.  
  
"Angel's got a kid. Sixteen year-old boy to be exact. Goes by the name of Conner. Well, actually, now his name is Steven, but his given name is Conner."  
  
"He has a kid!"  
  
"Yeah. I already said it twice. Am I going to have to spell this out, too?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, no. No spelling. Just serious confusion and major anger because he didn't tell me in the first place."  
  
"Well, now you know."  
  
"Okay. Now explain how this kid is sixteen. I think I would have noticed a kid running around his place while I was with him."  
  
"For starters, Conner was taken to a Hell dimension called Quortoth when he was a few moths old. He came back sixteen, even though that's just a few months here."  
  
"Who's baby is it?" Buffy asked quietly.  
  
"You mean the mom?"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
Cordelia sighed. "Darla."  
  
Buffy's eyes went wide. Her eyes filled with anger. "Darla!?"  
  
"Yeah. But, it was part of a prophesy. It suppose to happen. There really wasn't much we could do unless we knew about the prophesy before, but we didn't. So, we couldn't have stopped it."  
  
Buffy was still in shock. She wasn't paying any attention to Cordelia. But, in the back of her mind, she knew it wouldn't bother her too much. She slept with Spike. I think they're even.  
  
"Um, one question," said Cordelia, interrupting Buffy's thoughts. "Why are you here, anyway?"  
  
"Very, very long story that ends with Willow trying to destroy the world and Xander saving it."  
  
"Whoa. Alot's change since I came here."  
  
"You could say that."  
  
Buffy came out from behind the counter and took a seat on the circular couch. Cordelia took a seat next to her.  
  
Buffy looked over at her. "You never did tell me where Angel is."  
  
"Oh, he's in the middle of the Pacific ocean."  
  
Buffy jumped off her seat, like it was on fire. "He's where?!"  
  
"In the middle of the ocean. That's why I came here. I need someone to dive down there and bring him back up."  
  
"How am I suppose to know where he is, in the middle of the largest ocean in the world!"  
  
"I have my sources. I can take you there. But, I'm kind of shirt on time so, if you're going to do this, we need to get it done soon."  
  
"How long do you have?"  
  
"Well, really, I have about a week before the spell on me wears of, but I still have other things I need to do before then."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Look, I really don't have time for the twenty questions here, okay? We need to find Angel so we can help him find his son before Justine gets him killed."  
  
"Who's Justine?"  
  
Cordelia threw her hands up and stood. "I give up. You're as stubborn as Angel. I need someone to help him, and if all you're going to do is ask questions...."  
  
"No. I want to help. What do I have to do?"  
  
Buffy and Cordelia were in a stolen Jeep heading for the Pacific coast.  
  
"How do you expect me to get down there, anyway?" asked Buffy.  
  
"Scuba dive."  
  
"I am suppose to scuba dive and just hope I'll come across him."  
  
"No. I'll give you a guide. It will lead you to him."  
  
"How's he down there?"  
  
"Big metal box with a window."  
  
"Who put him down there?"  
  
"Conner."  
  
Buffy was silent as she drove. They weren't far.  
  
"Turn here. We need supplies," directed Cordeila.  
  
Buffy turned and headed for the docks. She drove up to the end and stopped the car and got out.  
  
"Where do you expect to find scuba gear?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Right here," said Cordelia, jumping into an old fishing boat. She opened a hatch and pulled out a wet suit and an air tank.  
  
"How'd you get that?"  
  
"A friend."  
  
"Who is......."  
  
"Someone very good at stealing, that's for sure."  
  
"Are you even going to tell me who it is?"  
  
"Probably not. He would get mad if anyone knew he was helping Angel."  
  
"He?....helping....Oh my God!"  
  
"What?" Cordelia gave her a strange look. She shrugged her shoulders when Buffy didn't answer, and went back to what she was doing.  
  
Inside Buffy's mind, her brain was screaming at her. ~Oh my God! I just know it's Spike. It has to. I can't think of anyone else that doesn't like Angel. Expect Xander. But Xander is at home. I saw him. Plus, he doesn't steal very well.~  
  
"Are you going to get in the boat or not?" asked Cordelia, who was sitting at the steering wheel trying to start the motor.  
  
"Yeah. I'm coming." She jumped into the boat.  
  
"Put on the wet suit while I drive. It shouldn't take long."  
  
"How will you know when you're there?"  
  
"My guide will lead me." Cordelia held her hand in a fist in front of her face. Then, she slowly opened her hand, showing a very small ball of light. The light moved out of her hand and swayed around in front of her face.  
  
"Find Angel," she whispered.  
  
The ball of light took off over the dark sea.  
  
"Here we go," yelled Cordelia and she turned on the boat and made it go as fast as it would go, which, for a fishing boat, was pretty fast. She followed the little light through the darkness while Buffy pulled on the cold wet suit. She tank was heavy on her back. She pulled the goggles onto her head and put the flippers on her feet. Suddenly, the boat lurched as it slowed down and slowly came to a stop.  
  
"That outfit just does not work for you," said Cordelia, observing Buffy.  
  
"Shut up. How am I suppose to do this? I've never done this before."  
  
"Just jump in and follow the guide." She walked over the side and grabbed a chain. She handed it to Buffy. "Hook this to the box. We can drag it closer to shore and haul it up with the Jeep. Once you've got it hooked, don't come up too fast. It will make bubbles in your lungs and they could explode."  
  
"Thanks for the comfort," mumbled Buffy.  
  
"Are you ready?"  
  
"Uh, yeah. I guess." Buffy moved to the side of the boat. She saw the guide moving slowly over the surface of the water. She put the mouthpiece in her mouth and too a few breaths before diving into the ocean. The cold water hit her like a thousand knives, stabbing at her body. She gasped, almost losing the mouthpiece.  
  
~It's okay, keep moving~ a voice came in her head. Cordelia.  
  
Buffy thought back to her. ~What? Is this a new power, too?~  
  
~Yeah. I kind of like it~  
  
~The water is so cold~  
  
~It won't last long, just follow the guide~  
  
Buffy saw the ball of light dive deeper and she followed. Her legs started to scream for mercy, but she kept moving. It was very dark down there. She didn't even want to think of what would happen if he ran into a shark.  
  
~Don't worry, the water's safe~  
  
~How would you know? You're not even down here~  
  
~I just do~  
  
~How do you know Angel's still alive...er, undead?~  
  
~I just know. I can feel him~  
  
Buffy found that interesting. She felt that same way. She had always been able to do that with Angel, and even Spike. Maybe it was a vampire thing. Or maybe it was something else. It was something to take the mind of her burning legs, chattering jaw, and lack of seeing two feet in front of her.  
  
~I should have brought a flashlight~ complained Buffy.  
  
~Just don't take your eyes off the guide~  
  
~I'm not~  
  
She saw the guide stop as she got closer to it. She barley made out the outline of the large box. The guide made it easier to see. It had a thin layer of scum covering the window. She moved her hand across it to wipe it away. Angel's eyes were closed. He appeared to be sleeping. Buffy knew it had something to do with lack of blood. She remembered that Thanksgiving when Spike hadn't had any blood and he was all drowsy. Angel had probably been without blood for a little over a week. Enough to make him go into a deep sleep.  
  
She took the chain and hooked the ends to the handles on the side of the box. She pulled on the chains to make sure they were secure, then made her way back to the surface. The guide led her back towards the boat. When she broke surface, she spit out the mouthpiece and took a gulp of fresh air.  
  
"Buffy, over here," called Cordelia, a few meters away.  
  
Buffy swam over and let Cordelia help her onto the boat. Her lips were blue and teeth were chattering.  
  
Cordelia helped Buffy out of the wet suit and wrapped a huge blanket around her.  
  
"Get warm. I'll get us back to shore," said Cordelia.  
  
Buffy merely nodded.  
  
Cordelia got behind the wheel and steered the boat in the direction of the bright coast.  
  
When they reached the dock, Buffy had been able to control her jaw and her lips were their normal color. She got into the Jeep while Cordelia hooked the chain to the front of the Jeep.  
  
"Why don't we just use the crank used to pull up the nets for fishing?" questioned Buffy.  
  
"Because it's broken. Sp- I mean, my friend, didn't think to check that part when he had hijacked the boat."  
  
Buffy nodded her head. She knew for certain, now, that it was Spike who had helped Cordelia.  
  
Cordelia climbed into the drivers seat and turned on the vehicle. She engine roared and she started to move backwards. The end of the dock ended at a slope in the water, so Cordelia was able to pull the box right onto the dock. Once it was fully out of the water, her and Buffy jumped out of the Jeep and rushed over to Angel. The thing was bolted shut. Cordelia found a crow bar in the boat and used it to pry the box open.  
  
When the box opened, both the girls gave a small gasp. Angel was as white as a ghost. His skin had a sickly look to the and he had rings under his eyes. Cordelia used her fingers to open one of his eyes. They look sunk in the back of his head. He looked deader than usual.  
  
"We need to get him back to the Hyperion," said Cordelia. "You drive. I'll stay with him in the back."  
  
Buffy looked at her curiously, but didn't protest. Cordelia helped her lift Angel into the back of the Jeep. Then, she climbed in the back with him and Buffy climbed into the driver's seat. Cordy huddled over Angel, caressing his face.  
  
"Come on, Angel. Wake up." She shook his gently. He didn't stir. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but she was aware that Buffy was tuning in to everything she was saying.  
  
"You had better get up or I'll have to start calling you names."  
  
Angel didn't move.  
  
"Okay then. What name do you hate the most......Um, let's see....Oh. Peaches! You had better get up. Dead Boy! Poofter!......Uh,....."  
  
"Why do you have to call me things that Spike calls me," said Angel groggily, not opening his eyes.  
  
"Angel!" yelped Cordy, throwing her arms around him.  
  
"Ow! Ow. That hurts."  
  
"Oh, god. I'm sorry." Cordy pulled away. "Oh, god, you're awake."  
  
Angel opened an eye. "Why are you all glowy?"  
  
"Oh, this?" he look became solemn. She had to tell him that she didn't live in this dimension anymore. Just when things were getting brighter with them.  
  
"Wait, first of all, who's driving?"  
  
"It's me, Angel," called Buffy from the driver's seat.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm the one that dived down there and saved your sorry ass so be grateful."  
  
"No problem. I'm plenty grateful. How long was I down there?"  
  
"A little over a week," Cordy answered.  
  
"You need blood, fast," said Buffy.  
  
"Yeah," he said. "I'm weak. I can barely move."  
  
Cordy took his hand into hers and gave it a squeeze. Angel gave her a puzzled look, and she just smiled. He smiled back.  
  
"Hey," called Buffy. "What's going on back there? You both stopped talking. That's never good."  
  
"Sure it is," answered Cordy, never taking her eyes of his.  
  
"We're almost there."  
  
When they pulled into the Hyperion, Buffy came around the back and opened the door. She and Cordy supported Angel and helped him walk inside.  
  
"Go get him some blood. I'll get him on the couch," said Buffy as soon as they came inside the doors.  
  
Cordy rushed off and Buffy helped Angel over to the circular couch. He gave her a grateful look.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he asked.  
  
Her eyes widened. "Uh,....Um.....Well.."  
  
"Here's the blood," said Cordy, coming in. She handed the mug to Angel, who gulped it down. Once he finished, he told Cordy to get him some more.  
  
"Coming right up." She left the room.  
  
Angel was about to open his mouth to ask the question again, and Buffy saw it coming, so she cut him off before he could ask.  
  
"What's this thing between you and Cordy?" she asked flatly.  
  
Now it was his turn for his eyes to get wide. "The....The-the thing...That is me...and.....Cordelia?"  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"What thing?" he asked innocently.  
  
"Oh, give me a break, Angel! I've known you better than anyone. I know adoration when I see it. You like her."  
  
"Well,...uh, yeah."  
  
"Does she like you back?"  
  
"I think so."  
  
"Well, good for you. You need someone to keep you from brooding so much."  
  
Angel had a puzzled look on his face. "Wait....You're okay with this?"  
  
"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"Because I'm me and she's Cordelia, the girl you hated your entire high school year."  
  
"It's not like I'm one to judge, anyway," she muttered, not really meaning to say the words, they just came out.  
  
"Why?"  
  
She looked at him with wide eyes when she realized what she had said.  
  
"Uh, um. I just....Don't want to judge."  
  
"Okay, good, but you made it out like you meant your situation was worse than mine...." His eyes narrowed. "Who are you with?"  
  
Buffy stuttered some more.  
  
Cordelia walked in, obvious to the conversation. "Are you trying to get her to tell you she's with Spike?"  
  
Buffy turned to face the demoness. "How did you know?"  
  
"He told me when he helped me get that stuff I needed to help Angel."  
  
"So it was him. When did he come back? When was he here? Where is he going?"  
  
"I don't know. He just came. I said I needed help. He helped. Then he was on his way."  
  
"Did he say where he was going? Where he had come from? Why he had-"  
  
"Hold it!" shouted Angel, standing up suddenly, but being weak, he fell back down on the seat again.  
  
Cordelia took her hands off her ears. "Man, talk about a good set of lungs."  
  
Angel looked back up at the two women he loved most. "What is going on here?" he asked simply.  
  
Cordy pointed to Buffy. "She's with Spike."  
  
"Not anymore," corrected Buffy.  
  
"Well, you were for awhile."  
  
"What exactly did he tell you?"  
  
"That he needed to find Peaches, I mean, Angel. He said something about a soul."  
  
This time both Angel and Buffy shouted. "A soul!"  
  
Cordy's hands went back up to her ears. "God, can't you two keep it down?"  
  
"Spike's got a soul?" asked Buffy.  
  
Cordelia nodded.  
  
Buffy slowly sat down next to Angel, staring at the air in front of her eyes.  
  
"He was looking for Angel. He said he would help, but he left before I had the chance to get Angel actually out of the water. I thought Gunn and Fred would be here, but, obviously, they're not."  
  
"I bet their with Lorne," said Angel.  
  
"Now, why would they be there?"  
  
"First of all, Gunn was the one that suggested Vegas to me when I went on vacation. Second, I told Gunn that if anything ever happened to me, get Lorne."  
  
"Oh." Pause. "Well, that answers that question."  
  
"Now I have another," said Angel, looking at Buffy.  
  
Buffy looked up at his with sadness and fear in her eyes. He stared at her, puzzled yet again.  
  
"If he got a soul, aren't you suppose to be happy?" asked Cordy.  
  
"That depends. If he went to get a soul, then yes. But, I really doubt that, because if there was one thing he didn't want to become it was another Angel."  
  
"So, you're saying it was probably involuntary?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
Angel put an arm around her shoulder. "Are you okay?"  
  
She gave him a small smile and stood. "Can we talk tomorrow? I'm, like, really tired and need rest."  
  
"Sure. I can show you to your room." They walked away from Cordy and up the stairs.  
  
Cordy sat on the chair and sighed.  
  
Angel let her into a room. "You can stay here."  
  
She took a seat at the edge of the bed and put her head in her hands. He walked over and sat down next to her.  
  
"You know," said Buffy, raising her head, showing evidence that she had let a few tears fall free, "I had come here to have a nice peaceful summer away from everything that has happened and I end up with this."  
  
"What's 'this'?" he asked.  
  
"Everything. You were in the middle of the ocean. Cordelia's a glowy demoness. Everyone is gone. Spike has a soul. You have a son....."  
  
"Oh, yeah. About that. I...."  
  
"I know. Prophesy. Couldn't be diverted. Cordelia gave me the run-down."  
  
He nodded. "Good."  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes.  
  
"Since you know what's been going on with me, you gonna tell me how Spike go into the picture and what was so horrible that made you want to come here?"  
  
She looked up at him with hollow eyes. To him, she looked lifeless. The last time they had seen each other, she had had that same stare. It had worn off for awhile, then the thing with Willow and Warren and Tara and Spike and apocalypses and it seemed to take over once more.  
  
"You don't have to talk about it," he whispered when she didn't answer.  
  
"No. You deserve to know." She slowly started her story of life since she came back. She left out the major details of encounters with Spike and left out what happened in the bathroom all together. She told him how she had felt when she was with Spike. She told him how scared she had been when Willow had become Evil Wiccan. She told him about how it felt when she had found out Spike had left without so much as a goodbye.  
  
"Why, exactly, did he leave?" asked Angel towards the end.  
  
"That's not something I'm ready to share," she said softly.  
  
He nodded and she finished the story with Xander helping Evil Wiccan become normal again and saving the world.  
  
"Man.....I never thought I'd see the day that Xander saved the world," he said in awe.  
  
"None of us did."  
  
"Well," he said, standing, "I'm going to go and let you get some sleep. Wanna finish the none-shared part tomorrow?"  
  
She bit her lip and nodded, know there was no way around it. He gave her a small smile before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.  
  
Less than two seconds after he left, she burst into tears. She fell onto her side on the bed and cried into the pillow. Angel had heard her and halted, but forced himself to let her be, and kept walking downstairs.  
  
She cried her eyes out until there was nothing left. Her sobs turned to soft cries. The pillow was soaked with salty tears. She tried to sit up, but immediately regretted it when a wave of nausea washed over her and she made a dash for the bathroom. Whatever she had had for dinner, she couldn't even remember, was now in the toilet. He stomach was empty and her throat was raw. She flushed the toilet and leaned against the white wall.  
  
"How did my life get so screwed up?" she asked herself softly.  
  
"It was pretty hard work," said a voice.  
  
Her head snapped up so fast it started to spin, before focusing on as image in front of her.  
  
"Oh, god, not you again," she complained.  
  
"Yeah, it's me," said Whistler. "Nice to see you, too."  
  
"What the Hell do you want? And if you say apocalypse, I swear to God, I will follow in with my threat last time I saw you."  
  
He held up his hands and took a few steps back. "Whoa, whoa there. No apocalypse. I just came with a message."  
  
"From who?"  
  
"Before I tell you, I just wanted you to know that this was all suppose to happen. You didn't screw anything up this time. Well, actually, you did. The witch was never suppose to show up at the hospital. The Powers thought she would be too selfish and immediately go for revenge, but, as you have noticed, you are alive and standing."  
  
"More like sitting," she commented.  
  
"Whatever. Look. The Powers just had to pity you and tell you that you didn't screw anything up. Yet."  
  
"What do you mean....Yet?"  
  
"What I mean, is that as long as you wallow on this path of self pity, you're never going to get anywhere. If you take matters into your own hands and deal with what comes, then a reward would be granted."  
  
"Oh, great. Another gift. Just what I need."  
  
"Not a gift, just gratitude."  
  
"Oh, so, the Powers are going to give a pat on the back and a 'work well done' for everything I've been through! My friend died, I had to fight my best friend, I had to watch her strip the flesh from another human being. I had to deal with an obsessed vampire that let his emotions get away with him. And all I get is gratitude!"  
  
"You will receive a gift. Just in different forms. You will be spared when you should have been killed. You will be given the gift of feeling again. Showing emotion. Laughing, crying, screaming, even loving. But you have to show the Powers, that you will put these gifts to good use."  
  
"When will I get these so-called gifts?"  
  
"Whenever you need them most."  
  
There was a short pause.  
  
"You said you had a message. What is it?"  
  
"The message says that she had seen what your future holds, and it does get better."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Your mom."  
  
Buffy's eye widened, but before she could reply, he was gone. 


	2. 2

The next day, Buffy walked down the large staircase. Cordelia was in the kitchen talking with Angel.  
  
"God, that is so sad," Cordelia said. "I can't believe everything that's happened."  
  
"I was as stunned as you are," Angel said. He sensed Buffy as she came closer. "Buffy? You there?"  
  
Buffy came through the door. "Yeah. I'm here."  
  
"You look awful," stated Cordelia. Buffy had rings under her eyes , her eyes were red and puffy, and her skin had a pale tone to it.  
  
"If I look as awful as I feel, I don't even want to know," Buffy said, coming up to them and taking a seat on the counter.  
  
"Angel was just telling me about what all's happened. It's unbelievable."  
  
"You didn't have to live through it."  
  
"And I thought we were in bad shape."  
  
"Have you called Lorne's place, yet?" asked Angel.  
  
Cordy nodded. "Fred and Gunn are coming back here tomorrow."  
  
"What about Wesley?"  
  
"We have no clue where he is."  
  
"And Conner?"  
  
"Same."  
  
"Any sign of Justine?"  
  
"Well, sorta. See, the whole reason I knew where you were is because I happened to look down just as they were dumping you in the ocean. After that, they drove off. So, my guess is, Conner is going to stick with her."  
  
Angel sighed.  
  
Buffy put a hand on his shoulder, giving him the best smile she could muster. "It'll work out. I should know. I'll tell you if it looks like something you should freak out over."  
  
"I just don't trust Justine with him."  
  
Cordelia replied, "And that's understandable."  
  
"But," said Buffy, "If you keep looking at the down side, you'll never see what's coming." She paused for a minute. "You know, that would have been really useful advice for me earlier this year."  
  
"Too bad you never thought of it."  
  
"Or the Powers could at least send me a message like they did last night."  
  
"Last night?" said Angel and Cordy at the same time.  
  
"Oh, Whister paid me a little visit. Said a few things. Told me I didn't screw up this time, besides that fact that I should be dead now."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Willow was never suppose to come to the hospital. If she had never came, I would have died."  
  
"So, that's three times you defied death," said Cordy.  
  
Buffy nodded.  
  
"Wow. That's pretty impressive."  
  
"At least this time I didn't actually die."  
  
"So," said Angel, "Whistler just showed up to tell you, 'you should be dead, but you're not, good for you'?"  
  
"Pretty much."  
  
"I really want to rip that guys head off."  
  
"Don't we all."  
  
Later on that day, Cordy was on the couch, watching Buffy and Angel spare in the main room.  
  
They exchanged blows, but since Angel had been underwater for a week or so, he was a little rusty, where as, Buffy had just gotten through fighting a super-strong wiccan. Buffy eventually got the upper hand and Angel ended up on the floor, face-first.  
  
"Um, ow," he groaned, sitting up.  
  
"Can you teach me to do that?" asked Cordy.  
  
"Do your demoness powers make you have super-strength?" asked Buffy.  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Then no. The only reason I won is because he's been underwater for a week and I haven't."  
  
"Yeah," agreed Angel. "Otherwise-"  
  
"Otherwise it would have taken me another fifteen minutes to get him on the ground."  
  
"Or maybe I would have won."  
  
Buffy held out her hand to help him up. "Don't count on it."  
  
He glared at her, but took her hand. She pulled him to his feet.  
  
"What is with men, and their egos?" asked Cordelia. "It's like, if a girl beats them, they think they're wusses. Which, in this case, that's true, but-"  
  
"Hey," said Angel, offended.  
  
"Well, she's the Slayer, and you're a vampire, and you should be able to take her down."  
  
"He didn't even get me when he was Angelus," pointed out Buffy. "Big sword fight. I still won."  
  
"See," said Cordy.  
  
Angel glared at them. "I am not a wuss. If anyone's a wuss, it's -"  
  
"Hello, people!" called Gunn from the door.  
  
"Gunn. Fred," said Cordelia, standing. "You're back. Early."  
  
"Yeah, well, the cab driver was in a-"  
  
They heard tires squeal as the cab took off.  
  
"Hurry," Gunn finished. He saw Buffy standing next to Angel. "You must be the all famous Buffy summers that I hear so much about."  
  
"That's me," Buffy said softly.  
  
He held out his hand. "I'm Charles Gunn. Everyone here calls me Gunn."  
  
She shook his hand. "Nice to meet you."  
  
A young girl with long brown hair came up to her. "I'm Fred."  
  
"I'm Buffy."  
  
"I know. We here alot about you from Angel."  
  
"I noticed."  
  
"So," said Gunn, dumping a travel bag on the counter, "why are you here?"  
  
"I just had some things I wanted to talk to Angel about."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"My friend becoming a Super-Wiccan and trying to destroy the world, my other friend dying, my other friend saving the world, and I've been sleeping with his childe."  
  
"You mean, a vampire he sired?"  
  
Angel butted in. "She means Spike."  
  
"Oh." Pause. "Why?"  
  
"Long story that I've already told twice."  
  
"I'll fill you in later," promised Cordy.  
  
Gunn nodded. "So, has anything changed while we were gone?"  
  
"Conner is gone with Justine somewhere, Wesley is nowhere to be found, and I'm a higher being."  
  
"You're a higher what?"  
  
"A higher being. It means I don't exist in this dimension anymore."  
  
"What?!" cried everyone in the room besides Buffy.  
  
"You never said that," said Angel.  
  
"How did that happen?" asked Gunn.  
  
"You mean, you're not real?" Fred asked.  
  
"If you would let me explain," shouted Cordy, "I can tell you."  
  
The three stopped what they were saying and waited.  
  
"Thank you. When I say I don't exist in this dimension anymore, I mean, I live in a different dimension now. I'm real. It's just, I'm in different form now. That's why I'm all glowy. This body is like a costume for me. I wear it so I can be here."  
  
"How long are you going to stay here?" asked Fred.  
  
"For about a week. That's when the spell wears of and I have to go back to my other dimension."  
  
The room was silent. Buffy kind of held back. This was their problem.  
  
"So you only have a week here," stated Angel.  
  
"Sort of. It's like, my kind, what I am now, are able to move through dimensions. We have that ability, but we don't have the ability to take human form. If I come here, I have to have a spell put on me and that costs money. Well, not really money, but the kind of currency they have there. It's like glowing balls of energy. Something like that, anyway, I will come back. It will just be awhile."  
  
There was silence. Angel walked over to the counter and perched on top of it. He stared at the ground in deep thought.  
  
Cordy watched Gunn and Fred just give her half-smiles.  
  
Buffy walked over and sat next to Angel. "You okay?" she asked softly.  
  
He just shook his head, no.  
  
"You wanna talk about it?"  
  
"I think I'm starting to understand how you felt after I left," he admitted, never looking at her.  
  
"It's painful to lose someone you love."  
  
"And I've had it happen three times now."  
  
She put a reassuring hand on his arm. "I've had it happen more than that. You don't even know half of it."  
  
"I'm not sure I want to."  
  
By this time, Gunn, Fred, and Cordy had made themselves scarce.  
  
"At least, you know she'll be back."  
  
"When? I'm not even sure she feels the same about me. I just know that all of a sudden I have feelings for her."  
  
"I can talk to her."  
  
"I don't know. I don't want to bring you into it. You have enough problems." He looked up at her. "Are you ready to tell me the thing you haven't told me yet?"  
  
Buffy looked at the ground. "It's not really the fact that I don't want you to know, I'm just worried about what you're going to do afterwards. 'Cause, once I get done talking, if you even let me finish talking, you're not going to listen to my reasons why you shouldn't kill him....." The last part was barely above a whisper.  
  
"Who? Why would I kill....." Realization hit him. "What did he do?"  
  
"Angel, it wasn't his fault. Well, not entirely. I should have stopped it from the beginning or it wouldn't have come to this..." her rambling was only making him more anxious.  
  
"Buffy, spit it out!"  
  
"If I had just said no and stuck with it the first time he would have known that I meant no and wouldn't have tried to...."  
  
"What? What did he do?"  
  
Buffy's voice started to waver. He stopped raising his voice and put a hand on hers. He asked again in a soft voice. "What did he do?"  
  
"He tried to rape me."  
  
Angel was dumbfounded. That was the last thing he expected to hear. He felt like killing something, until Buffy started to cry. She leaned onto his shoulder, clenching her eyes shut.  
  
He stopped being mad for a second, and put an arm around her shoulder.  
  
"Did he hurt you?" he hissed.  
  
"I-I had already hurt my back earlier that day.....He pushed me and I fell and it hurt so much..."  
  
"Did he.....Go through with it?"  
  
She shook her head, no. "I kicked him off of me. The look on his face," she looked up at Angel, "I knew he hadn't meant it. I knew that wasn't why he had come."  
  
"Buffy, when someone attempts rape you, they usually aren't sorry about it."  
  
She pulled back from him, slightly. "Angel, if he had meant to do it, he would have done it a long time ago!"  
  
"How? The chip.....Wait....Duh. Stupid me. ....The chip's out?"  
  
"No. It just doesn't work on me. It hasn't since I came back."  
  
"Has he hurt you before this?"  
  
"No." Pause. "Well, not in the pain sense..."  
  
"I didn't need to hear that."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Pause.  
  
"Did you love him?"  
  
She looked up at his face again.  
  
"No. I think.....Before.....I had feelings for him. I cared about what happened to him. That was probably the only reason I didn't let Xander go stake him."  
  
"Xander knows?"  
  
"They all know. I wouldn't keep something like that away from them. Not after keeping Spike a secret." She noticed they had gotten off the subject. "I don't love him. I think, maybe, there are still feelings for him somewhere in my heart, but it's not love."  
  
"And if I were to say I'm going to kill him....."  
  
"I would say you have to go through me first."  
  
He nodded his head solemnly.  
  
After a moment, he spoke. "Why? How? How did it start in the first place?"  
  
She thought for a minute. "He was the only one, besides Dawn, that wasn't jumping all over me when I first came back. He was the first person I told, that I had been pulled from Heaven. When I was with him.....I felt like I had my fire back. After I was pulled from Heaven, it was like I was incapable of feeling.....except when I was with him."  
  
He nodded, looking at the floor.  
  
"How do you always seem to get me to pour out my problems to you? We were suppose to be talking about you," she said.  
  
"Not much to say about me."  
  
"Sure there is." She pulled her legs up and crossed them, getting comfortable. "So. Tell me, what does it feel like to have a son?"  
  
He thought for a minute before giving her a smile. "It's amazing. I have something that no other vampire has. Even if he hates me and wants me dead."  
  
"At least you have one. That's a downside of being the Slayer. No kids. Well, we can have them, but it wouldn't be good for the baby to grow up not knowing is she's going to see her mother the next day."  
  
"Besides, you can't seem to stay with a guy that is capable of giving you a baby."  
  
"I had Riley," she retorted.  
  
"Yeah, but he couldn't give you what you need. You've always had a dark side to you."  
  
She got quiet and looked down at her hands.  
  
"What? What'd I say?" he asked.  
  
"It's not you," she said looking at him. "It's....Spike. He was always telling me I belong in the dark."  
  
"I never said you belonged there. I would never want you to fear the light. You just have this dark side of you that will always be there. It's a part of you. But, you should never fear your light side."  
  
"And I haven't. It's just....Coming back. I didn't know where I belonged. It just seemed to get worse everyday. Then, that thing with Spike. He wasn't much of a help. It wasn't like he was forcing me to be in the dark. He just sort of....leered."  
  
"He has a tendancy to do that."  
  
"But, I think that I can be lighter now," she said, looking up. "He's not here. At least, not now. My friends are in Sunnydale. And I'm here. With you. Even if you do have another honey."  
  
"Well, she's not really my..."  
  
"Oh, lose the act, Angel. You like her. She likes you. It was meant to be."  
  
"How do you know she likes me?"  
  
"I can prove it to you."  
  
"What? Uh, wait. No-" before he could get the words out, Buffy called for Cordelia.  
  
"Hey, Cordelia! Come 'er," Buffy shouted.  
  
Angel glared at her. "Why did you do that?"  
  
"You have to find out sooner or later."  
  
He sighed.  
  
Cordy walked into the room. "Watchya need?"  
  
Buffy talked while looking at Angel. "How do feel about Angel?"  
  
Cordelia's eyes widened. "Uh. Um. I."  
  
Buffy got up from her spot and walked up to Cordelia. She spoke in a voice so small that not even Angel could hear. "If you like him, tell him. Don't hide it. He likes you, too."  
  
Cordy whispered back, "What do I say? You're an expert with him, you do it."  
  
"Tell him how you feel." Buffy leaned in closer. "You'll know the conversation went well if you're kissing in less than five minutes."  
  
Cordy gave her a nervous look.  
  
"Go," ushered Buffy. She gave Cordy a small nudge towards Angel and walked away. "I'll be in here if you need me," she called over her shoulder.  
  
Angel and Cordelia looked at each other nervously.  
  
"So," said Cordelia, swinging her arms.  
  
"So," said Angel.  
  
In the kitchen, Gunn was cooking Fred something to eat.  
  
"Hey, Buffy," he called.  
  
"Hey. Whatchya cookin'?" she asked.  
  
"Pancakes. You want some?"  
  
"Sure. Why not? I don't think I've eaten since I got here." She walked over and sat on the counter next to Fred. "So. How did you guys meet Angel? You know everything about me, but I know nothing about you."  
  
Fred spoke up. "Well, I was a slave in Pylea, that's another dimension, and Angel rescued me. Well, he was there for Cordelia, but he got me while he was there."  
  
"They had made Cordelia their princess," said Gunn. "I think she misses it sometimes."  
  
"Cordelia was a princess?" said Buffy with a laugh. "Her highschool dreams have finally come true."  
  
"What was she like when she was in highschool?" asked Fred.  
  
"Uh, major drama queen. Little Miss Popularity. May Queen. And, before she found out about the vampires and demons, a real snob to me."  
  
"Not much has changed since highschool," joked Gunn.  
  
"I know one thing has changed," said Buffy, hopping off the counter. She walked out of the kitchen.  
  
Fred and Gunn exchanged looks, then followed. Buffy peeked around the corner into the main lobby. Gunn came up behind her. Buffy pointed.  
  
Angel and Cordelia were kissing lightly. Angel's hand carressed her face. Her hands were wrapped lazily around his neck.  
  
Buffy walked away with a smile, leaving Gunn and Fred to spy on their friends. 


	3. 3

Back in Sunnydale....  
  
"Giles! Can I go to the Bronze?" yelled Dawn from upstairs.  
  
Giles was sitting in the living room, reading. He put his book down and looked at his watch. Six o' clock. "When will you return?"  
  
Dawn stood at the top of the stairs. "About ten."  
  
"Who will you be going with?"  
  
"Some friends from school."  
  
"I suppose. But, you have to call Xander to take you there."  
  
Dawn squealed. "Thanks Giles. You're the greatest."  
  
She ran back into her room.  
  
Giles sighed and went back to his book.  
  
Dawn pulled on some jeans and a tank top. She slipped into her shoes, ran a brush through her hair, grabbed her purse and headed out the door. She came down the steps and grabbed her coat. She ran to the phone and dialed Xander's phone number.  
  
"Hello?" answered Willow.  
  
"Hey, Will. Were's Xander?"  
  
"He's right here." She handed the phone to Xander.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Xander. It's Dawn. Will you please take me over to the Bronze. Giles said I could go if you drove me over there."  
  
"I guess. I'll be over in five minutes."  
  
"Kay. Thanks."  
  
"No prob."  
  
"Bye."  
  
They hung up.  
  
"Make sure someone walks home with you," said Giles, never looking up from his book.  
  
"I will. Don't worry. I can handle myself."  
  
Dawn waited outside for Xander outside. After about two minutes she started to feel wierd. She wasn't sure what it was, she just had the feeling someone was watching her.  
  
She looked around, and when she saw no one was there, she just shrugged it off.  
  
Xander pulled up in his car. Dawn jumped in the passenger's seat.  
  
"Thanks Xander," she said as she buckled her seatbelt.  
  
"Hey, no problem. Anytime," he said. They pulled out of the driveway and headed for the Bronze.  
  
Xander dropped Dawn off at the front.  
  
"Call me if you need a ride home," he said.  
  
"Okay. Thanks again," she said, and ran inside.  
  
She spent the first few hours hanging with her friends. Dancing, listening to music, and just having fun.  
  
Dawn started to get that feeling again. Her friends were talking and laughing, not noticing that Dawn had stopped talking.  
  
"Hey, Dawn," said Janice. "What's the matter?"  
  
Her friends looked at her.  
  
Dawn shook her head. "Oh, nothing. I'm fine."  
  
Janice shrugged and went back to telling her story.  
  
After a few minutes, the feeling returned. She decided she wanted to see what it was.  
  
"I'm going to get a drink," she said. "Anyone want anything?"  
  
No one did, so she made her way over to the bar. She laid a bill on the counter and asked for a soda. While the man got her drink, she looked around. She didn't see anyone out of the usual. The man gave her her drink and change and she returned to her table.  
  
A few minutes later, she felt a hand on her shoulder.  
  
She turned and gave a small gasp. "Spike?"  
  
Spike gave her a small smile. "Hey, Bit."  
  
"What the Hell are you doing here?"  
  
"Just seeing how you're doing."  
  
She looked at her friends, who had stopped talking and were watching Spike and her.  
  
"I'll be right back," Dawn excused herself and led Spike to another table.  
  
She sat across from him, arms crossed over her chest.  
  
"So. You came back," said Dawn flatly.  
  
"Yeah. I did."  
  
"You wanna tell me why you left without saying goodbye?"  
  
He looked at the table. "I'm not one for goodbyes, Bit."  
  
"You could have left a note."  
  
"I wasn't thinking at the time."  
  
"Yeah, you're right, you weren't thinking. Just like you weren't thinking when you almost raped my sister," she said harshly.  
  
He didn't say anything back. He just looked at the table, not being able to meet Dawn's eyes.  
  
"That wasn't my intention," he said softly.  
  
"Well, then, what was your intention?" her voice started to rise. "To leave us when we needed you the most? Do you know how much we went through starting the day you left?"  
  
He looked up in confusion. "What happened?"  
  
"It's not like you care. It's not like you care, that Buffy almost died. Again. It's not like you care that Tara *is* dead. It's not like you care, that Willow almost killed us and everyone else in this sorry world." The tears brimmed her eyes. She brought her hands to her face, her elbows on the table. She wiped away the few tears and rested her hands on the table.  
  
He stared at her in shock. "What?"  
  
"Didn't you hear me? You're not deaf, Spike. Tara is dead! Willow went Wicca on us, and almost killed Buffy, after Warren almost killed her."  
  
"Tara's dead?" he said in disbelief.  
  
"I'm not saying it again. You heard me."  
  
"Oh, god."  
  
"Yeah, Spike. Oh, god. Oh. Fricking. God. Maybe, if you hadn't been such a coward and ran away from your problems, you could have been there to help. Maybe Willow wouldn't have gotten so out of control. Maybe Warren wouldn't have shot Tara."  
  
"Dawn, I-"  
  
"No," she said, getting up. "Don't talk to me. You think about how much pain you put us through by leaving when we needed you, even after you told us you'd never leave. You just sit here and cry your eyes out. I don't care. Just think about it. Then, maybe, we can talk. Until then, leave me alone."  
  
She walked away from the table, leaving Spike in a daze.  
  
"You guys, I have to go," she told her friends, grabbing her purse.  
  
Her friends were also dazed by her outburst, for they had been watching and listening to anything they could hear.  
  
"Bye Dawn," they all said, and she left.  
  
They watching Spike slam his fist on the table, breaking it in half, then storm off. They turned back to each other.  
  
A girl raised her eyebrows. "Damn."  
  
Dawn picked up the payphone and dialed Xander's number.  
  
"Hello?" said Xander.  
  
"Xander. It's Dawn. I need you to pick me up."  
  
"Why? Is something wrong?"  
  
"No. Just come. Now." She hung up the phone.  
  
Three minutes later, Xander pulled up next to Dawn.  
  
"Dawn, what is it?" he asked as she hopped in the car.  
  
"I just wanted to go home."  
  
"I know, but you sounded pretty urgent on the phone."  
  
Dawn sighed. "I...I just....I saw Spike."  
  
"What?! What'd he do? What happened?"  
  
"Nothing. I just told him everything about what happened when he left and it got me upset. I just wanted to go home."  
  
"That bastard. I can't believe he'd show his face here."  
  
"Are you going to tell Buffy?"  
  
"I better. She would get mad if I didn't."  
  
Dawn nodded.  
  
They reached Dawn's house.  
  
Giles was standing outside.  
  
Dawn stepped out of the car. "What's wrong Giles?"  
  
Giled walked up the car and got in. "I need to speak to Willow. I was going to go there, then I saw you two pull in."  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Xander, pulling out of the driveway once Dawn had gotten back in.  
  
"I got a call from the covon in England. They heard heard than Willow had used her powers to kill a human being and they said I either have to bring her to England and they with trial her, or they will turn her in to the police."  
  
"Oh god," said Xander. "They won't hurt her, will they?"  
  
"With the extremity of killing another human being, they will more than likely, strip her of her powers."  
  
"What do you mean, strip her of her powers?"  
  
"As you know, she is a very powerful witch. She always has been. Even before she started studying the Black Arts. When they strip her of her powers, they take away that power. She will be like you. She would still be able to do spells, but they would be just as effective as if you were doing them."  
  
"So, they'll make her normal."  
  
"More or less."  
  
"When this happens, she can't ever be as powerful as she was a few weeks ago?"  
  
"Well, she could, but it would take a life-time to reach the level of power she was at."  
  
They drove the rest of the way to Xander's house.  
  
Willow was watching TV. "Hey guys. What's going on?"  
  
"Willow," said Giles coming up to sit next to her. "I have to tell you something."  
  
He explained the covon's actions to her abuse of magic.  
  
Willow looked terrified. "What will they do? I'm I going to jail? I don't want to go to jail. They have big mean men and bad food."  
  
Giled put a hand on her arm. "You won't go to jail, if you come with me to England. The worst I can think the covon will do is strip you of your powers."  
  
"So, I'll be powerless. Helpless. I can't do that, Giles. I can't go back to what I was," she said, shaking her head.  
  
"You won't be helpless, Willow. You are a very smart and intelligant girl. Magic was only a part of you, it's not who you are."  
  
"That was the only thing that made me more than normal."  
  
Xander raised a hand. "I'm normal."  
  
"You almost married a vangence demon and you saved the world. That's not normal."  
  
"And you, grew up on the Hellmouth, was girlfriend to a werwolf, tried to destroy the world, brought your best friend back from the dead, and fought a Hell god and lived to tell how you whopped her skanky ass. I don't think you quilify is normal either."  
  
Willow smiled alittle. But the smile soon faded. "Are you sure that's the worst they'll do?"  
  
Giles gave her a smile. "Positive. They even told me that was what they were probably going to do."  
  
"What about Buffy? She needs to know you're going to England. Dawn needs a place to stay and stuff."  
  
"She can stay with me," said Xander.  
  
"Oh, and Xander," said Dawn. "Don't forget that other thing we have to tell Buffy."  
  
"Oh, yeah. The Evil Dead is back in town. He had a chat with Dawn."  
  
"Oh, dear lord," muttered Giles. "We must call Buffy right away."  
  
"I'm on it," said Xander. He ran into the kitchen and picked up the phone. He punched in Angel's number.  
  
"Hello, Angel Investigations," said a perky voice. It was Cordelia.  
  
"Hey, Cordy. It's Xander let me talk to Buffy."  
  
Cordelia called for Buffy.  
  
Buffy came running down the stairs, laughing, with Angel at her heals. She jumped over the counter just before Angel could grab her.  
  
"It's Xander," said Cordelia. She handed the phone over.  
  
Buffy gave Angel a look and took the phone. "Xander?"  
  
"Yeah. It's me. Listen, you're not going to like this very much, but........" 


	4. Returning Home

Buffy slammed the phone down. "Dammit!"  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Angel.  
  
She ran a hand through her hair. "Willow is in trouble and....Spike's back."  
  
She watched Angel grow tense, but turned his attention back to her. "Are you leaving?"  
  
"I don't know. Giles said there's no reason to come back, but he and Willow are going to England and I don't trust Xander not to kill Spike without anyone there to stop him."  
  
"Dawn."  
  
"She had a fight with Spike. I don't think she's too worried about him right now."  
  
"What about Anya?"  
  
"She's not there. She took a vacation for the summer. I don't think she'll be back anytime soon."  
  
"They could come here," Angel offered.  
  
"Really?" she said hopfully. Then she put a resolve face on. "I mean, no. No. You have your problems here. You have to spend time with Cordelia and you have to find your son and I don't want to bring my troubles here."  
  
"I don't mind. We don't have any leads to where Conner could be. Just Dawn and Xander wouldn't get in my way."  
  
"What about Spike? I really, really, as much I as I don't want it, have to talk to him."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Angel. Unless you have grown deaf or just have a bad memory, I think you know what."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah. So, I really do need to go. I can come back sometime. Maybe a few weeks. I just need to get my problems sorted out."  
  
He nodded. "When are you leaving?"  
  
"Giles said him and Willow are leaving for England tomorrow, so I can hang here for a few more hours, then I have to head back."  
  
"I can drive you."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Cordelia spoke up. "So, are you two going to hang out, cause if you are, I'm going out."  
  
"Where to?" asked Angel.  
  
"I don't know. Just out. Probably just cruise around. I can't really go anywhere because of this glow thing."  
  
"Well, there's not much me and Angel can do together," said Buffy.  
  
"You can fight. I like to watch you fight." Cordelia turned to Angel. "Maybe you can win this time."  
  
Buffy smirked at Angel over Cordelia's shoulder. "Yeah. Or, at least come close."  
  
Buffy moved from behind the counter. "I need to change if we're going to sparr."  
  
"Okay," said Angel.  
  
Buffy ran up the stairs and fled to her room. When she came back out, she had her leather jeans and a tank top on. She pulled her hair back into a pony-tail.  
  
Angel took of his jacket. He was wearing a muscle shirt under it.  
  
They took fighting stance in the middle of the lobby.  
  
"Hey, is there a fight?" said Gunn, coming down the stairs. "I wanna watch."  
  
"Be my guest," said Buffy.  
  
Gunn walked over to where Cordelia was sitting on the couch.  
  
"Who do you think is going to win?" asked Cordelia.  
  
"I think Buffy looks pretty small to fight someone like Angel. Then again, she's kicked his ass before. So, my bet's for Buffy."  
  
"And as much as I want to say Angel, I have to agree with you."  
  
Buffy and Angel started to circle each other.  
  
Buffy threw the first punch, hitting him squarly in the jaw. His head snapped to the side. Using his vampire speed, he grabbed her fist before she pulled it away. She twisted it so that she was forced to wrap around til he had her arm pinned behind her back. She head-butted him. He stumbled back. She turned, then grabbed his shoulders and flipped over his back. Then, she dropped and kicked his feet out from under him.  
  
He hit the floor, but soon got to his feet again. They started to circle each other again. Buffy kicked him in the chest twice, then did a round house to his head. He grabbed her foot just as it hit his head and pushed it up, flipping her over and making her fall to the ground. She spun on the floor and knocked him down, then got to her feet once more. He stood to face her.  
  
"Who won?" asked Cordelia.  
  
"I did," they both said at the same time.  
  
"What do you think, Gunn?" asked Angel.  
  
"Don't look at me," Gunn said, putting his hands up. "I ain't gettin' in the middle of it."  
  
"I think it's a tie," said Cordelia.  
  
Buffy and Angel gave her a look.  
  
"Or not."  
  
"How about a rematch?" asked Gunn.  
  
"I think I've had enough fighting for one night," said Angel.  
  
"What? You only had one fight. It lasted less than five minutes."  
  
"I don't care."  
  
"You're just afraid Buffy's going to kick your ass and you don't want to be embarrassed infront of Gunn," said Cordelia.  
  
"Of course not. I just.."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Angel. I won't hurt your manly ego," said Buffy. "I still need to train, though. Do you have a punching bag?"  
  
"Yeah. It's in the basement. I'll show you."  
  
"Okay."  
  
He led her down the musty basement, where the only color was a few vases with plastic flowers in them.  
  
She took stance in front of the punching bag and he stood behind it to hold it steady. Because of everything that had been going on, she had a lot of pent up engery in her that needed a release. She started to pummel the punching bag. She was letting the bag have it so bad, Angel was barley able to keep it steady.  
  
"When's the last time you've beat something up?" he asked.  
  
"Does getting my ass kicked by my best friend count?"  
  
"Guess not."  
  
"Then a really long time."  
  
"I kinda got the impression."  
  
She continued her assualt on the punching bag.  
  
"Uh, not that it's any of my buisness, but what are you going to do when you get back?" Angel asked.  
  
"You mean, what am I going to do about Spike," she stated matter-of- factly.  
  
"Well, uh, yeah."  
  
"Not sure yet."  
  
"Are you going to talk to him?"  
  
"Does my fist connecting with his jaw count as talking?"  
  
"So, you're going to fight."  
  
"I'm not sure."  
  
He paused. She kept punching.  
  
"So, what's this thing with Willow?" he asked.  
  
"Her and Gile are going to England. She has to be trialed by a covon. Giles said they'll probably only strip her of her powers, but I think he's just saying that so she won't be too scared to go."  
  
"So you think she's going to punished for her actions?"  
  
"More or less."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I just hope they don't do too much. She's not very stable right now. I don't need a mental patient. Been there, done that, didn't work out very well."  
  
"Okay..huh?"  
  
"I got enjected with this poison. Made me a little wacky. I thought I was a mental patient and almost killed my friends and sister. Didn't I tell you?"  
  
"Obviously not."  
  
"Oh, well. Now you know."  
  
"Guess so."  
  
"So, what are you going to do about Conner?"  
  
"I'm not sure. We don't really have much to go on. I'll just have to wait for him to show up somewhere and make a scene."  
  
"How long do you think that will take?"  
  
"Hopfully, not too long."  
  
"At least he's not a key. You don't have to protect him from a Hell god."  
  
"That's true, and I'd like to keep it that way. If he goes and pisses off a Hell god, he can fend for himself."  
  
"You don't mean that."  
  
"I know, but it makes me feel better about the fact that he hates me."  
  
"He doesn't hate you."  
  
"Wanna bet? I have the emotional scars of being held in an ocean for two weeks to prove it."  
  
"I would have rather been in an ocean that where I was."  
  
They were silent. The only sound was Buffy punching and kicking the punching bag, which was starting to leak thanks to Buffy.  
  
"Angel, can I ask you something?" she asked, stopping her assualt.  
  
"Anything."  
  
"What's with the flowers?"  
  
An hour or so later, they emerged from the basement. Buffy was tired from her release on the punching bag. Gunn handed her a bottle of water, which she gulped down half of it in on drink.  
  
"Gunn," said Angel. "Remind me to buy a new punching bag. I think it just met it's match."  
  
"I wouldn't be surprised," he said. He watched Buffy guzzle down the rest of the water. "She doesn't have one of those slugs in her, does she?"  
  
"Huh?" asked Buffy, taking a breath.  
  
Angel looked up. "I hope not. The only way to get them out would be to make her drunk and I don't want to experiance what happens when you're around a drunk Slayer."  
  
Buffy spoke up. "I never get drunk." Pause. "Except that one time with..."  
  
Her sentence trailed.  
  
"What?" asked Gunn.  
  
Buffy gave a half smile. "I got drunk with Spike. I was feeling bad because I had just lost three different jobs in one day because of the Trio dorks and he gave me a few drinks and took me to a game of kitten poker."  
  
"Kitten poker?"  
  
"Kittens are considered demon currency," said Angel.  
  
Gunn had a confused look on his face. "Not even going to ask."  
  
Buffy headed towards the stairs. "I need to get ready. I want to head back to Sunnydale soon."  
  
Angel nodded. She turned and headed towards her room.  
  
Buffy walked into her room and locked the door behind her. She changed back into her normal clothes and put the others in her bag. She picked up stray clothes around the room and in her bathroom.  
  
"You know, you're not a very good housekeeper," said someone behind Buffy.  
  
She didn't even turn around. "You are starting to hang out more than you did the last time something bad happened and it's getting annoying."  
  
"What? A guy can't just stop in to say hi?" Whistler asked, moving around so he could see Buffy.  
  
"In your case, no. Now I see where Angel got that habit of showing up at just the right moments with bad news."  
  
"I didn't come with bad news."  
  
Buffy looked up. "That's a surprise. So, why are you here?"  
  
"A message from the Powers. Ever since that Cordelia chick became a higher being, we can't use her visions. So I became the messenger boy."  
  
"Aren't you anyway?"  
  
"Well, yeah, but I'm making alot more stops than usual. It's tiring."  
  
"I like it just as much as you do."  
  
"I noticed."  
  
Buffy zipped up her travel bag and pulled it onto her shoulder. "So, did you just come to talk, or do you have something important I need to know?"  
  
Whistler put his hands together. "Don't let your anger get the better of you. Think of what you've been through, what he put you through, then think about what you put him through."  
  
"Is this a pep talk for my confrontation with Spike sometime soon?"  
  
"Not a pep talk. Just advice. You want someone who will love you forever, never leave, never forget. He has what it takes to be that person, but it will never come to be if you don't let him back in."  
  
"And why would I do that after what he did to me?"  
  
"Because that's who you are. You forgive your best friend for almost destroying the world, but you won't forgive him for a mistake that you partly drove him to make."  
  
"Maybe because they're two totally different things. Willow's lover had just died and she was getting over a magic addiction."  
  
"So she tries to destroy the world and all of the people she loves," he said eyebrow raised.  
  
"She wasn't thinking. She was running on vengence and pain and hurt."  
  
"And Spike was running on pain and hurt and love."  
  
"You don't rape someone out of love."  
  
"I guess I can't disagree with you there."  
  
"Good. Then, we're done here." She started at the door.  
  
"Honey, we've barley gotten started."  
  
"Listen. My friends need me right now. I need to go."  
  
"Your friends are fine. You just sit down and listen."  
  
Buffy spun around to face him. "Maybe I don't want to listen."  
  
Whistler gave a small chuckle. "That always was a problem. You never wanted to face the truth. Never wanted to listen to what other people had to say. Well, since I know I only have few minutes before you try and rip my head off, I'll just say it. He felt remorse for what he did."  
  
"Well, he would. He's not that sick," said Buffy, unimpressed.  
  
"No, you don't understand. He's a vampire. Vampires don't remorse or feel bad for their actions. That's what a soul's for."  
  
"So, just because he felt sorry for trying to rape me, I should forgive him and get over it?"  
  
"Not...to an extant."  
  
Buffy put her hands on her hips. "You are running in circles. And you're right, I am about to rip you head off."  
  
"I'm just saying. The fact that he did feel sorry after that, is something that should be taken into consideration. The Powers To Be know that you've had a hard and violent past."  
  
"You don't know the half of it."  
  
"Actually, I do. But, that's beside the point. They know what you've been through, and they know you need some kind of a break."  
  
"They're damn right, I do. So why won't they give it to me?"  
  
"They have."  
  
"Spike? Spike is my break? Do you know how much harder he has made my life, just by living?"  
  
"Not as much as you think."  
  
"If I had just killed him when I first met him, I wouldn't have had to deal with all this. This pain and this tug at my heart that I feel because I won't forgive him! I hate it! I shouldn't even be considering forgiving him! I should have let Xander kill him! ........ The first time!"  
  
"Yes, but what would you're life have been like without him?"  
  
"A Hell of a lot easier."  
  
"Maybe. I'm not going to give you a blast of what life might have been like, but it's something to ponder."  
  
"Are you done?"  
  
He cocked his head to the side. "I guess."  
  
"Good. Then, I'm leaving." She turned towards the door.  
  
"Don't forget to ponder," he added.  
  
She turned back, confused, but he was gone.  
  
"Why does he always have to do that?" she asked herself.  
  
She came out of her room and closed it behind her and made her way down the hall.  
  
She walked down the staircase to where everyone was standing.  
  
"Buffy? You okay?" asked Cordy.  
  
"Huh?" she asked, confused again.  
  
"We heard yelling all the way down here. Something about Xander killing something."  
  
"Oh, it was Whistler. If I see that guy again, he had better hope he's immortal, cause he's going to be missing a head."  
  
She walked down the rest of the stairs and over to Angel. "Ready?"  
  
"Yeah. Sure. Let's go."  
  
"Bye Buffy," called everyone.  
  
"Bye, guys. I'll see you later."  
  
Buffy and Angel excited the hotel and got into Angel's convertible, which Gunn had retrevied from the beach.  
  
Angel turned on the ignition and they drove off.  
  
The first part on the drive was silent. Niether really knew what to say.  
  
Then, Angel spoke up. "What were you and Whistler talking about?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, uh, Spike."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Obviuosly, there's a memento up there that I'm going to have a future talk with Spike, which I am. He told me not to lose my cool. That it's not all his fault, that I need a break and Spike is it."  
  
"Spike's your break? How?"  
  
"The Powers think that I could actually let him back in my life again."  
  
"You mean, let him touch you again."  
  
Buffy looked at her hands. "Yeah."  
  
"Will you?"  
  
She looked out the window. "I don't know what to do. Half of me says, forget it and move on, the other half says hold it against him til he forces me to stake him. Then, part of me says give him a second chance."  
  
Angel said nothing.  
  
Buffy continued. "And, I'm not sure which I should do. I mean, what he did should be unforgivable, but he didn't really go through with it and he felt bad afterwards, which he shouldn't have, because he's a vampire. But, it shouldn't matter. He hurt me. He almost violated my body." She winced at the way it sounded when she said it that way. "But, I gave Willow a second chance. I've given her a bunch of second chances. I forgave her for bringing me back from Heaven, for almost killing my sister, then, killing a human, and almost destroying the world. Those things were unforgivable, but I did." She turned to Angel. "So why can't I forgive him for his one mistake?"  
  
He sighed. "I can't answer your questions Buffy, just because of the fact that I have completly different feelings towards Spike. If it were my choice, I would have killed him when I first heard he had tried to....The point is, it's not my choice. What I do think, is that you're too worried about what your friends will think if you forgive him."  
  
She shrugged. "Maybe. Xander would have a fit. Dawn might not be as mad if I gave her my explanation I just gave you. I think she's mainly upset that he left without saying goodbye."  
  
"That's understandable."  
  
"As for Giles, if he is so bent on me making my own desicions and not relying on what he says and does, he'll support me either way, even if he disagrees. And Willow, she doesn't exactly have a choice. If she disagrees with my forgiving him, I can just give her a run-down on everything I've forgiven her for, but I don't think she would give me a hard time like Xander."  
  
"So, besides Xander, your friends aren't holding you back."  
  
"No. Still....It was rape. It's different. Isn't it?"  
  
"If you mean is that worse than everything Will has done, as much as I don't like it, it's not as bad. But, rape is still a big thing, Buffy."  
  
"I know it is. I'm just having this big argument in my head and it's should be plain black and white, but everything is bleeding together and have I told you how much I hate the color grey? I really hate the color grey. It gives me a headache."  
  
"You don't have to talk about it. I'm with you no matter what, Buffy. Don't ever think I will like you any less because of something you do. People make mistakes. It's normal. Sometime people have to pay for their mistakes. Willow has to pay for her mistake by becoming powerless again and maybe worse. Spike has to pay for his mistake by, maybe, not being able to be trusted by you ever again."  
  
"That's the thing. I feel like, if I do trust him again, he'll feel like he has power over me. That he can make more mistakes and I'll just forget and forgive."  
  
"Then make sure he understands the first time that he made a mistake and what he did was unforgivable, but you will forgive him if he never does anything like it again. In my opinion, you shouldn't take him back immediatly. If you want to get across to him that what he did was wrong, taking him back as soon as you say it, is going to blur the message a little."  
  
"That's what I'm thinking."  
  
"But, either way it goes, it's your desicion."  
  
She looked over at him. "Don't do that."  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Give your opinion on what I should do then say, 'but it's your desicion.'"  
  
"That's because it is."  
  
"I know, but I like other people's desicions. It makes things so much easier."  
  
"If you rely on other people, you'll never learn to stand on your own two feet."  
  
"You sound like Giles."  
  
"I do not."  
  
"Yes you do. That's what Giles said before he left."  
  
"I don't sound like a watcher."  
  
"Well you hang around one enough to pick up on something."  
  
Angel was silent. Then, Buffy remebered what Wesley had done.  
  
"Oh yeah," she said quietly. "I forgot. Wesley bad. You hate Wesley. Wesley should die the slow and painful death of hearing Cordelia talk his ear off about clothes and guys while playing pop and R&B music in the background. Oh, and don't forget to suffocate him with cookie dough."  
  
Angel tried to surpress a smile, but the thought of seeing Wesley listen to Cordelia talk while eating cookie dough and listening to teen hits was cracking him up.  
  
"A watcher's worst enemy," she stated. "I never let Giles watch Dawn anymore."  
  
"I think it have more effect on Giles than Wesley. He's not as....watcher- y."  
  
"Is that even a word?"  
  
"Probably not, but you get what I'm saying."  
  
"Yeah." Pause. "But you still hate Wesley's guts."  
  
"Like there's no tomorrow."  
  
About an hour later, Angel pulled up into Buffy's driveway.  
  
"I guess I'll see you later," she said, grabbing her bag.  
  
"You sure you don't want me to come with you when you..."  
  
"I'm sure. I need to do this on my own."  
  
He nodded.  
  
She leaned over and gave him a quick hug.  
  
"What happened to a goodbye kiss?" he asked.  
  
"It went out the window when you got a new girl."  
  
"You'll always be my girl."  
  
"Maybe, but there will always be Cordelia. I don't mind sharing the rank of 'your girl' with Cordelia. Much."  
  
"Someday I'll have to watch you with some other guy. I'll get over it. Unless it's Spike. I might never get over you being with Spike."  
  
"Well, that's comforting. Now I really feel up to that big, important talk I need to have with him."  
  
"Just remember. No mercy."  
  
She pulled away and slapped his arm. Then, gave a smile. "Since when do I show mercy?"  
  
"Not when you fight, that's for sure."  
  
She smiled again, gave him another hug. "I'll see you later."  
  
"Bye."  
  
She grabbed her bag and climbed out of the car.  
  
"In a few weeks?" she asked.  
  
"Anytime you want."  
  
She smiled, then turned to walk up to her door. She gave a wave before he pulled out of the driveway and down the street.  
  
Buffy walked into the house, closing the door behind her. 


	5. 5

Buffy walked quietly into the living room.  
  
Giles looked up from the book he was reading.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he asked.  
  
"Last time I checked, I live here," she said, sitting next to him on the couch.  
  
"Well, yes, but I told you there's no reason for you to come back."  
  
"Giles, do you really think I would trust Xander not to kill Spike when no one's here to stop him?"  
  
"I suppose not."  
  
"So, how's Dawn doing? Has she driven you crazy yet?"  
  
"Actually, she's been doing quite well."  
  
"What about Willow?"  
  
"She's coping. The coven said we had to be there by tomorrow afternoon."  
  
"What do you think they'll do to her?"  
  
"I'm not quite sure. There are many different actions they could take."  
  
"They wouldn't hurt her, would they?"  
  
"It depends. Killing a human is very extreme. She was more powerful than any witch was ever suppose to be."  
  
"And more dangerous."  
  
"Yes. She endangered everyone she loved and the world. Her actions will be a high price to pay."  
  
"Just as long as she's still Willow when she gets back."  
  
"She'll always be Willow."  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes.  
  
"I think I'm going to take a quick patrol," Buffy said, standing up.  
  
"That's okay, we've already taken care of it," he assured.  
  
"I still have something I need to do."  
  
He looked up. "Does this involve a certain annoying vampire?"  
  
"Yeah. I need to talk to him."  
  
"That's good that you are taking care of your problems. Very responsible."  
  
"Giles, can I ask you something?"  
  
"Sure, Buffy."  
  
She sat down next to him, again.  
  
"I know you said I should make my own desicions, but can you just give me your opinion on this?"  
  
"Depends on what it is."  
  
"Should I forgive him for what he did?"  
  
He paused to think. Then he started to speak slowly. "No matter what I say, it will always be your decision."  
  
"I know. That's what Angel said."  
  
"Oh really. What did Angel have to say of the matter?"  
  
"He said that if I can forgive Willow for all of her mistakes, I should be able to forgive him for his one mistake, but if I want to get across to him that what he did was wrong, I should give some time before I think of letting him back into my life."  
  
"What do you want to do?"  
  
"At first I wanted to kill him. Even though I know I could never do that. Then Whistler had to come pay a visit."  
  
"Whistler visited you?" Giles interrupted.  
  
"Oh, yeah. Twice. The first time, he said I didn't screw anything up this time. Except for the fact that I was suppose to be dead."  
  
"Oh dear. Why?"  
  
"When I was shot, and Willow came to the hospital to save me, Whistler said she wasn't suppose to do that. The Powers thought she would be just out for revenge and forget everyone else. She wasn't suppose to save me."  
  
"She still had that one speck of humanity in her. That's what saved her."  
  
"And Whistler said that my mom said hi and that things would get better."  
  
"Joyce sent you a message?"  
  
"Yep. She said she has seen my future and it does get better."  
  
"And this does nothing to relax you."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Well. What did Whistler say the second time?"  
  
"He talked about Spike the whole time."  
  
"Spike?"  
  
"Somehow, the Powers learned that I am going to have a talk with him, and I am, and Whistler came to give me a pep talk."  
  
"What did he tell you?"  
  
"He said that a lot of stuff, but mainly he said he's been through alot too and if I can forgive my friend for trying to kill me and the world, then I should be able to forgive him for his mistake."  
  
"I agree that it was a mistake, but you musn't forget that it was..."  
  
"Rape. I know. Even if it was just attempted, it's still a big and important factor. Still..."  
  
"What is it, Buffy?"  
  
"I feel like he deserves a second chance."  
  
"Everyone deserves a second chance if they think they can make up for their actions. Think of Willow. We have given her multiple second chances. She didn't make it better. So, now, she's having to pay for it dearly."  
  
"But, I want him to pay for doing this to me. I want to get across to him that it was bad and should be unforgivable..."  
  
"But you will give him a chance to make it forgivable."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Well, I can't really help you much. I don't have much of a liking for him and I would rather keep it that way. I don't have anything against him, like you do. I could care less what happens to him. But, if I were to say that he was my....allie. I would say that after everything he has done for you and Dawn and everyone, I would say a second chance is deserved."  
  
Buffy thought about it for a second. Then got up from the couch.  
  
"I have to go...talk...to him," she said as she grabbed her coat and headed out the door.  
  
Giles sighed and said to himself, "Spike, you had better not make me regret telling her that."  
  
He went back to his book.  
  
Buffy walked through the cemetary going over everything everyone had told her in her head.  
  
"I'm going to tell him I'll give him a second chance," she said to herself. "And if he screws it up, he's dust. Maybe. I'll just kick his ass. I still can't believe Giles *and* Angel gave me reasons *to* forgive him, instead of saying kill kill."  
  
"Watcher-boy *and* Peaches told you not to kill me," said someone behind her.  
  
She didn't even turn around. "We need to talk."  
  
"Not much to talk about," said Spike, coming up beside her.  
  
"Of course there is."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Where'd you go?"  
  
"What if I don't want to tell you?"  
  
"Do you value your duster? Cause it's in my closet and all I have to do is let Xander get a hold of it and it's gone."  
  
"Africa."  
  
"Huh?" she said, turning to face him.  
  
"I said, I went to Africa. Did you grow deaf this summer?"  
  
"Why did you go to Africa?"  
  
He ran a hand through his hair. "You're not going to like it."  
  
"I can deal."  
  
"I went to get this chip out."  
  
(A/N: I wrote this after I read that he went to get a soul, so just go with it.)  
  
Buffy's jaw dropped. She looked surprised, then angry. "So, you try and hurt me, then you decide that wasn't enough and you should get that chip out so you can hurt someone else?"  
  
"I didn't say that."  
  
"Then what are you trying to say?"  
  
"I wanted to show you that you could trust me. That, I could have the chip out and not kill anybody."  
  
"Spike, I already trusted you! Do you think I would have ever let my sister stay with you while Glory was after her if I didn't trust you? Do you think I would have ever let you touch me, if I thought for once second that you might bite me and make me Slayer number three? What is your damage?"  
  
"You told me you didn't trust me."  
  
"I said I didn't trust you to handcuff me to a bed. There's a difference."  
  
"Well, it doesn't matter. This damned chip is still intact, plus, I have a-"  
  
"Soul. I know."  
  
"Who told you?"  
  
"Cordelia."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Then, he started to walk away. She ran to catch up with him.  
  
"Where are you going?" she asked.  
  
"Well, I heard you talking, you said you wanted to talk to me. I figure, if you end up kicking my ass, I would rather already be at my crypt so I don't have to drag myself there."  
  
She sighed, but followed him to his crypt.  
  
He walked through the doorway, the door slamming against the wall. He walked over and perched up on the sarcophogus.  
  
Buffy closed the door quietly and stood a few feet in front of him.  
  
There was silence for a few minutes.  
  
"Sla-..Buffy. I -"  
  
"Don't. I don't want you apologies," she said firmly. "I came because I wanted to tell you....that I forgive you."  
  
He looked up in disbelief. "Why?"  
  
"Well, I thought about it alot. I talked to Angel and Giles. Believe it or not, they said I should give you a second chance, even though they, Angel in particular, wish you were dust right now."  
  
"I'm not surprised. What I am surprised about is that you are giving me a second chance. By that, do you mean.."  
  
"No. I mean...I'll give you another chance to prove that you love me as much as you say you do."  
  
"I already have-"  
  
"Spike, the second you walked out of that bathroom, you were back at square one. Everything you have proved, is gone. Forgotten. It doesn't matter anymore. That's what a second chance is. It's a chance to start over and do it right this time. I am being generous. What you did, was unforgivable. I don't have to forgive you. But I am, because everyone deserves a second chance. Especially you. You helped me protect Dawn, you helped my friends while I was six feet under, you were the first one I talked to when I came back, you were there for me when I needed it. I'm grateful."  
  
He had a surprised look on his face. "Well. I didn't expect that."  
  
"Good. You shouldn't have."  
  
Pause.  
  
"I heard what about what happened," he said. "I'm sorry about Tara."  
  
"Will's a mess. Tara was her everything and now she's gone. Now she has to go to England for trials."  
  
"How are you holding?"  
  
"I'm okay. I went to LA. I just got back tonight."  
  
"I'm guessing the Cheerleader got Peaches out of the water."  
  
"With a little help from me."  
  
"I figured you'd you come. You always run to him when there's trouble. Or, at least you did until I came. Then, I leave, and it's his turn again."  
  
"It's not a matter of who's turn it is. It depends on who'll listen."  
  
"I listened."  
  
"You did. I liked it then. When I talked. You listened. You gave your opinion. And for those few minutes with you I didn't feel so out of place."  
  
"Yeah. Then we had that little sing and dance number happen."  
  
"Then it all changed."  
  
"You got that right."  
  
She looked up at him. "I still care about you. I care what happens to you. But, what we did... It wasn't right. Or, at least, the reason behind it, was wrong."  
  
"How many times have I heard that before," he mumbled.  
  
"Many. Because it's true."  
  
He was silent.  
  
"Listen," she started, "I didn't come here to fight. I didn't come here to rub what you did in your face. I came to tell you that I forgive you and I'm giving you a chance to make it right."  
  
"What is there to make right, Buffy? I can't change what I did. You're never going to forgive me enough to take me back, I know you."  
  
"You obviously don't know me very well." She turned to leave. Then, she stopped. "I'm giving you a second chance to show me that you could be someone that I would truly care about. And if you think you're ever going to get me back with you, you at least have to prove that first."  
  
She walked out of his crypt and closed the door behind her.  
  
He sat there in deep thought, staring at the brick wall. Without warning, his eyes began to blur as salty tears fell down his hollow cheeks. He laid against the hard surface and let his eyes overflow.  
  
Buffy walked away from the crypt feeling confident that she had made her point.  
  
Someone fell into step next to her.  
  
She didn't turn or stop walking. "I told you I could do it alone."  
  
"I just wanted to make sure. I don't trust him."  
  
"It was fine."  
  
"I heard." Pause. "He's crying over you."  
  
Buffy looked up at Angel. "He's what?"  
  
"Crying. I could hear after you left."  
  
"Spike's crying? That's new. I've never seen him cry before."  
  
"I have."  
  
"I'm guessing that now that he has this soul he'll be doing that alot."  
  
"I wouldn't count on it. He's too stubborn to let a soul get in the way of being a pain in the ass."  
  
"He's too stubborn, period, but that's beside the point. I just don't want him all mopy around me. If he's going to be around me, he has to be Spike, not an Angel wannabe."  
  
"Hey!" Angel protested.  
  
"Nothing against you. Spike is just more fun when he's....Spike. Not soulboy."  
  
"You guys seem to have made up just fine," Angel said under his breath.  
  
Buffy stopped walking. "What's that suppose to mean?"  
  
"You go and have a talk with him, now it seems you have forgotten everything he's done, and now he's just ....Well, Spike. You act like you've completly forgotten what he almost did."  
  
"Angel. I will never forget what he did to me. That kind of thing doesn't want to escape my memory very quickly. I went to have a talk with him about what he did, not to make up. Is it my fault that I don't want another person moping around here?!"  
  
"Buffy, I didn't-" "I don't care, okay. This is the reason I didn't want you to come." Buffy started to walk off.  
  
Angel runs to catch up with her. "Buffy, I don't want you to be mad at me. I'm just worried. I've known Spike longer than you have."  
  
Buffy spun around. "You know the big bad evil Spike. You don't the Spike I just got through talking to. This is the first time you've seen him, if you even saw him, since I was in highschool. A lot has changed since then."  
  
"Spike doesn't change. He'll always be Spike."  
  
"And what if I said that about you, Angel? What if I said, you'll always be Angelus, not matter what happens to you, no matter who you fall in love with, no matter what you do for your friends or innocent people, you'll always be Angelus?"  
  
Angel was silent.  
  
"See," said Buffy, "it's no different. Spike has changed alot more than you think. What he did is the first time he has done something bad enough for me to still be pissed off at him, since he got that chip in his head. And he does alot of stupid things."  
  
"I noticed."  
  
"No, Angel. You don't notice. You've been in LA for the past three years. You don't know the slightly inkling about what he's done."  
  
"Then tell me. What has he done that's so fabulous that you would forgive him for almost raping you?"  
  
Buffy stared at Angel in disbelief. "He was totured by a Hell god, so that Glory wouldn't find out that Dawn is the key. He fought with my friends during the summer I was dead. He took care of Dawn. When I came back, he was just about the only one who didn't jump all over me. He talked to me when my friends were too busy worrying about their problems to listen. He was the first one that I told about being pulled from Heaven, and didn't tell the others, even though he could have just to gloat about being right about something going wrong. He could have told my friends that the chip didn't work on me, just to gloat about somthing going wrong. He could have told my friends that I was sleeping with him.."  
  
Angel winced.  
  
"Just to gloat. But he didn't tell them any of those things, because I didn't want them to know. He didn't tell Glory about Dawn, because he cared about how it would effect me. I don't think he even cared that he was being tortured, as long as Dawn and me were okay. When I was dead, my friends didn't tell him that they were bringing me back. He could have just skipped town and never come back, but he didn't. He had made a promise to me that he would protect Dawn until the end of the world. Look around, Angel. The world's still here. Even when I was dead, he kept his promise, even if I wasn't there to see it happen."  
  
Angel was speechless. He just stared at the ground.  
  
"I'm going home, now," she said. "I want you to get in you car and go back to LA with your friends and Cordelia. If you hurt him after I go, I'll hurt you."  
  
Buffy walked off.  
  
Angel watched her disappear from sight. Then, he left the cemetary and started back to LA. 


	6. 6

The summer was over. Dawn was going back to school. The old highschool that Buffy had blown up was now open and running. I had had a complete make over. When Buffy had gone to meet Dawn's teachers, she didn't recognize the school at all. Dawn was starting her sophomore year at the new school. She had been to summer school in order to pass into 10th grade since she had been skipping classes. Dawn promised that she would not skip any classes this year.  
  
Buffy also promised Dawn that she would set aside a day that she and Dawn could do something together. Just the two of them.  
  
Willow was getting better. She had gone to the covon in England. No one knew what had happened while she was there. Giles hadn't been able to acompany here when she had been trialed, and Willow wouldn't tell anyone else what had been done to her.  
  
Buffy had been patroling alone for the most part. It was lonely. Sometimes she would pass by Spike's crypt, but she could never bring herself to go inside. Sometimes she passed him as he left or returned from the crypt. They exchanged a few words then continued on. Sometimes he would watch her fight from a distance. Just incase she needed some assistance, but her fights never lasted long. The joy of the fight had slowly been lost, and now she just staked and moved on, never giving the dust a second glance.  
  
He, himself, had been just as, if not more, lonely than her. She was surrounded by her friends everyday. He was alone. Dawn never visited his crypt anymore. Clem, his only demon friend, had moved on to another town. Ever since Willow's magical outburst, many demons coward away from Sunnydale, but there was still the regular demon activity. Spike sometime would walk around at night before or after Buffy did patrol and rough up some demon. It was the only was he could vent his engery.  
  
He muched prefered Buffy kicking his ass across the floor, to being so lonely.  
  
That night, Willow had gone with Buffy on patrol. Xander wasn't at home and Willow was lonely. She had no magic to protect her, but she could take care of herself.  
  
"So, how have you been, Will?" Buffy asked.  
  
Willow shrugged. "Okay, I guess. It's still hard. And very frustrating that I have to do everything the slow way."  
  
"You'll get used to it. You lived that was for eighteen years, I think you can handle the rest of your life."  
  
"It's just.....now I'm the helpless one. You've got your Slayer powers, Anya has her demon powers, Giles has his magic and books and stuff, even Dawn is stronger than me right now."  
  
"Once you get your strength back, you'll feel better. And you're not helpless. Your the smartest person in the group.....Next to Giles."  
  
"See," Willow cried, throwing her arms in the air. "I'm not even the smartest person."  
  
Buffy sighed. "You're still very important."  
  
"Yeah, in the destruction of the world."  
  
"Stop saying that," Buffy demanded. "You're being too hard on yourself."  
  
"Sometimes I feel like I'm not being hard enough," Willow admitted softly. "When Tara died, I went crazy. I almost killed all of my friends. She's probably so ashamed of me."  
  
Buffy put an arm on Willow's shoulders, holding her close. "She loves you and always will love you. We know you miss her. We all do. You just have to accept what you did and forgive yourself, because you can't change what you did."  
  
Willow looked up and smiled lightly. "Thanks."  
  
Buffy pulled Willow into a hug. "Don't thank me. Just do it."  
  
When they parted, they started walking again.  
  
"So," Willow said, swinging her arms, "We've been talking about me this whole time. How have you been? Any talks with a certain bleached-blonde vampire?"  
  
Buffy looked at her smudgly. "Not yet. I haven't seen him around very much since I came back from LA."  
  
"Do you wanna see him?"  
  
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't know. I mean, wouldn't mind seeing him every once in a while. I like talking to him. I'm just afriad he'll get the wrong idea. Or that I'll do something I'll regret later. I don't want to start this thing all over again." "What do you guys talk about?"  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Stuff. My problems, usually. I don't have that many at the moment, though. I still wouldn't mind seeing him."  
  
"Maybe you should. His crypt is just over there. I could go home, or come with. For moral support."  
  
Buffy smiled. "Thanks for the offer, but I don't know what I'd say. I don't have anything to talk to him about."  
  
"Maybe he wants to talk to you. Know how you're doing. Know how Dawn's doing. He hasn't been hanging around that much and doesn't know exactly everything that's been going on."  
  
Buffy gave her a suspicous look. "Why are you so incouragable about be talking to him?"  
  
Willow smiled. "Because I don't like my friends moping around. Last year was a real drag, especially for you, I know, but it seems like you weren't as .....dead, if you don't mind the term....when he was around."  
  
"Things have changed, Will. Alot."  
  
"Is it because of what he did?" she asked softly.  
  
Buffy looked up at her, then looked at the space in front of her. "Partly. Not entirly, but that's a big part of it. I just don't know how to act around him anymore. I saw a part of him that I hadn't seen in a long time, and it scared me."  
  
"Does he scare you?"  
  
Buffy rubbed her own arm with her hand. "No. Not exactly. It's just so frustrating. I feel like I should be scared. That I shouldn't have forgiven him so easily. Like I shouldn't have kept Xander from killing him." She looked at Willow. "But I'm not. And I did. And he's still alive. And I'm so confused."  
  
It was Willow's turn to comfort her friend.  
  
"Don't worry," she assured. "It will all work out. It's not the end of the world."  
  
"Not yet."  
  
"Not ever. You'll work it all out."  
  
"I hope so. It's just so lonely. I don't have another guy I can tell stuff. I mean, there's Xander and Giles, but they all have their own problems. I can't bombard them with mine."  
  
"Why don't you try and get another boyfriend?"  
  
"Last time I had a human boyfriend, he left because I was too strong. Because I was still in shock from my break-up with my previous boyfriend. We all know how that ended. Plus, I just doesn't feel right. I feel like I'm betraying someone."  
  
"You feel like your betraying Spike?" asked Willow, confused. "I thought you two were apart."  
  
"We are. We were never really together, actually. It just doesn't feel right."  
  
"Is it because he's still around?"  
  
Buffy nodded vigerously. "I'm so used to the guy up and leaving after he breaks up with me. Since he's still here, since he's still a part of my life, it doesn't feel right."  
  
"You don't want to hurt him," Willow said softly.  
  
"But why?" she cried, throwing her arms in the air. "Why can't I stand to hurt him? He hurt me! But, for the life of me, I can't bring myself to kill him!"  
  
"You still care about him. You could never kill someone you care about."  
  
"I killed Angel," Buffy pointed out. "I killed him and it wasn't even his fault that I had to."  
  
"That was because you had to."  
  
"It just doesn't make any sense," Buffy shouted, her eyes brimming with tears. "Why do I feel this way?! After everything he's done, I can't stand to hate him! I don't love him! Why can't I hate him?! Why can't things be black and white for once? Why is everything so grey?" Buffy ended softly.  
  
She collapsed in Willow's arms, crying. Willow lowered her to the ground, holding her best friend like a life saver. Buffy felt everything that had happened come to surface. Everything she and Spike had done together. Ever kiss. Every touch. Every pleasurable sensation that had filled her. Everything that had felt so right at the time, but now was so undeniablely wrong. Everything poured out of her in the tears that soaked Willow's shirt.  
  
In the shadows, Spike had been listening to everything the two friends had said. He wished he could stake himself, just to make things easier on Buffy's part. But after what he had just heard, he didn't know if that would be the better thing to do. His heart broke at the sight of Buffy sobbing. Knowing that he was causing her pain made him feel horrible. But, knowing that she didn't hate him, made him happier than he had been in a while. It filled him with hope that even a friendship based relationship with the Slayer wasn't lost.  
  
He gave one last glance before turning and leaving before Buffy had the chance to aknowledge him.  
  
Willow waited until Buffy's cries had subsided before she moved.  
  
"We should get home," Willow whispered, helping Buffy to her feet. "It's getting late."  
  
Buffy nodded meekly. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and gave Willow a lopsided smile.  
  
"Sorry about that," she said sheepishly. "It's like, once I get started, I can't stop until it's all out."  
  
Willow put her arm around her friend's shoulder. "I know how you feel."  
  
They both walked home in silence.  
  
A week later....  
  
The gang was gathered at the Magic Box. Buffy had fought a demon that had gotten away.  
  
"It was way stronger than your usual demon," Buffy explained. "I could barely get the upper hand."  
  
Anya had come back from her little vacation and was counting the money in the cash register. Spike was even there to offer his assistance. After major arguing with just about everyone there, Willow and Buffy convinced them that he could be useful.  
  
"What exactly did it look like?" Giles asked.  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Big. Slimy. It had this spine on his right palm. Kind of like the demon that made me mental girl, except it didn't contract in and out of his wirst. It's just...there."  
  
Giles flipped through a few pages, searching out this new badie.  
  
"Did he hurt you?" Spike asked quietly from across the room. He had been quiet this whole time.  
  
Before Buffy could say anything, Xander cut her off.  
  
"What do you care?" he sneered harshly. "You've hurt her before. Didn't seem so concerned then."  
  
Spike didn't say anything. He just looked at the floor.  
  
Buffy turned to Xander. "You are just full of hate today, huh? Can't stand the fact that others aren't feeling as down as you." With that she turned on her heel and walked towards the back and into the training room.  
  
Spike looked like he was about to follow her, but Xander stood in his face.  
  
"You stay away from her," he whispered venomously, then turning and following Buffy, the door slamming behind him.  
  
The others turned to look at Spike, who just stared helplessly at the air in front of him.  
  
In the training room, Buffy was starting to pummel the punching bag.  
  
"Buffy, what just happened?" Xander asked. She came around to stand beside her.  
  
"I don't know, you tell me," she said.  
  
"You just defended him," Xander pointed out in confusion.  
  
Buffy stopped and turned to him with an unbelieving look. "Yeah, I defended him because he was just being concerned and you were lashing out at him."  
  
"Buffy, he shouldn't even be here. He shouldn't even be alive."  
  
Buffy turned back to her punching bag. "He's not alive. He's the living dead. Don't you remember?"  
  
Xander gave a frustrated sigh.  
  
"You know what I mean," he replied agrily. "He shouldn't be around you or Dawn or anyone. You don't know what he'll do."  
  
Buffy spun to face her friend. "I'll tell you something, Xander Harris. I can understand you saying I should stay away from him. Me and him have issues that still need working out. But he would never...ever...hurt Dawn. He treats her with nothing but respect and brotherly love. I trust him with her life."  
  
Xander stood dumbfounded by her outburst.  
  
"Buffy," he started softly, "I know he wouldn't hurt a hair on her head, but that wasn't the point I was trying to get across. He's a bad influence on her."  
  
"God, Xander, if anyone's the bad influence, it's you! Lashing out at people who are just being kind. Yeah, I really want her around people like that. What happened between me and him is our problem. And no one elses. Not yours, not Dawn's, not anyone. If you have a problem with him, then stay away from him. Don't try and convince me that I should keep my sister away from him, too, just because *you* think it's the right thing to do. I'm her guardian. I choose who she get's to be around, and I say she can be around Spike anytime she wants!"  
  
Buffy panted from lack of air as she finished.  
  
Xander gave her a hard look. "You know what? You're right. You're absolutly right and I'm absolutly wrong, just like always. But when she grows up having sex with people because it makes her 'feel good', I'll the first one to say 'I told you so'."  
  
Buffy punched him squarly in the jaw, not letting off her strength. Xander fell backwards and landed on his rear end.  
  
Buffy noticed the tears that had gathered in her eyes and angrily wiped them away.  
  
"Xander, I know you're trying to be a good friend here and protect me from things, but you're *not* making it any easier. I know there have been situations where I have been wrong and you right and I just didn't want to face the facts, but this is one time where your opinion doesn't matter. This is my life! Back off!"  
  
She stormed agrily away. Her hand was on the doorknob when his voice stopped her.  
  
"You're doing it again," he said faintly. "You're forgetting what he is. What he's done." He laughed solmnly. "I should have killed him the second we found out about his wild crush."  
  
Buffy turned to face him, venom dripping on her every word. "I swear to God, Xander. If you hurt him, I will make you feel a world of pain. Just because you're doing it out of anger, than trying to 'protect' me."  
  
She yanked open the door and stalked out.  
  
The others had been listening to their conversation, hearing just about everything. And anything they didn't manage to hear, Spike did because of his keen vampire hearing. It was amazing that everywhere he went he found people talking about him, even though they were suppose to hate him so much.  
  
Buffy grabbed her jacket and forcfully pulled it on, heading for the door.  
  
"Buffy, we still must find this demon," Giles said.  
  
"Use your damn books and find the damn demon yourself," she replied harshly before leaving the store.  
  
Giles was taken aback by her response. She had never been disrespectful to him in that manner.  
  
The others were shocked also. By what they had just heard from the training room, by what she had just said to Giles.  
  
Everyone turned to Xander as he came from the training room, gripping his jaw where Buffy had hit him.  
  
Then Dawn did something no one had expected. She walked up to Xander and smacked across the face. His head snapped to the side.  
  
"Buffy's right," she whispered. "Stay outta our life. It's not yours to but into."  
  
Then she turned and left the shop.  
  
Later on that night, Willow came by the Summers residance to see how Dawn and Buffy were doing.  
  
Dawn answered the door.  
  
"Oh, hey, Will," she greeted, leaning on the doorway.  
  
"Hey, Dawnie. How ya been?"  
  
Dawn shrugged. "I've been okay. Buffy's been up in her room ever since we got back from the Magic Box."  
  
"It *was* pretty intense back there."  
  
"Yeah. I mean, I love Xander. He's one of my best friends, but he can be such an asshole."  
  
"Hey, language. What would your sister say?" Willow teased.  
  
"She probably wouldn't care. Spike would, though...." her sentence trailed.  
  
Willow smiled. "Starting to have second thoughts on the whole 'hate Spike' scenario."  
  
Dawn shugged again. "It's just confusing. I mean, Buffy really made me think. As much as I don't like it, it's still their problem. And from what I've heard, it's not much of a problem anymore. So, I don't see any reason to hate him if Buffy doesn't."  
  
"That's good. Because, what Buffy said was true. He loves you with all his undead heart. I think it hurts him more that you don't like him than it does that Buffy doesn't."  
  
"And he's like the big loving brother I never had. Then I start to think about my brother and my sister having sex and it gives me the wigguns."  
  
Willow laughed.  
  
"Um, is Buffy still up?" she asked.  
  
"Oh, yeah." Dawn stepped to the side so Willow could enter the house. "She's in her room."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Willow stomped up the stairs and turned down the hallway. She knocked lightly on Buffy's door.  
  
"Come in," Buffy called from the inside.  
  
Willow opened the door. "Hey, Buffy."  
  
Buffy lifted her head off her pillow and looked at her friend. "Hey, Will."  
  
Willow closed the door and walked over to the bed, taking a seat.  
  
"Remember when I said I didn't have any problems?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I was wrong. I have major problems. All concerning Spike. A few concerning Xander trying to control my life."  
  
"Xander has a few problems of his own."  
  
"I just can't believe such a huge argument was started over Spike asking me if I was hurt."  
  
"Then Xander had to open his big mouth."  
  
Suddenly, Buffy's head jerked up. "Oh, god. What did Giles say after I left?"  
  
Willow laughed. "He was a little dumbfounded by what you had said. But, I think everyone was paying more attention to Dawn smacking Xander."  
  
"She smacked Xander!? She didn't tell me that."  
  
"Well, I think he deserved it."  
  
Buffy groaned and laid her head back on the pillow. "My life is so complicated."  
  
"I wonder how Spike feels right now," pondered Willow.  
  
"Oh, don't even go there."  
  
"I mean," she continued. "Xander was being all cruel and rude and Spike just acted like a child being scowled by his mother. Then you come in all defensive and stuff then you and Xander have this huge argument all about him. And just so you know, we heard everything you said back there. Or, at least Spike did. We didn't catch the normal talk, but we caught everything else."  
  
"It was weird seeing him cowar from Xander like that. He didn't even defend himself. He just dropped the question."  
  
"You know, for someone that everyone is suppose to hate so much, he sure does manage to get into alot of our conversations."  
  
"He has a way of doing that."  
  
"You know," Willow said slowly. "Maybe you should go talk to him. He was just being concerned."  
  
"Yeah. I've been big on the talks lately. I guess this is one that I should get over with."  
  
Willow rubbed Buffy's arm. "It would seem that way."  
  
"Do you mind watching Dawn until I get back? I might do a quick patrol before I come back."  
  
"Sure. Knock yourself out. I can spend the night if you want."  
  
Buffy sat up and hugged Willow vigerously. "You're the absolute best friend ever."  
  
"I know it."  
  
Buffy pulled back. "Okay, now you sound full of yourself."  
  
Willow laughed.  
  
Buffy climbed off her bed. She changed into her usual Slayer attire of tight leather pants and low cut black halter tops. She pulled her hair back into a pony tail and grabbed her leather coat.  
  
"I'll tell Dawn where you went," assured Willow.  
  
Buffy hugged her again. "Thank you. I'll see you in a few hours."  
  
Once she was outside of the house, she pulled on her coat when the cool breeze hit her skin. She headed towards his cemetary.  
  
Spike was laying on the sarcophogus with his legs hanging over the side, reading a book that Giles had lent him, when Buffy knocked lightly on his door. He sat up, placing the book to the side.  
  
"Come in," he called.  
  
Buffy slowly opened the door and slipped in, closing the door behind her.  
  
"Hey," she whispered.  
  
"Hey."  
  
She looked at him. He had his silk red shirt unbottoned halfway down, exposing part of his chest. She noticed he was wearing his gold chain around his neck. He rarly wore it, but she always thought he looked nice when he did. His hair was in its natural curly state. She liked it that way. The way it shaped his face and hung over his hair line.  
  
They were both aware that she was staring at him. She looked at the ground, blushing.  
  
He offered a smile, and she replied with a lopsided grin.  
  
"So, is there a reason why you're here, luv?" he asked, folding his legs up under him.  
  
"Just to talk."  
  
"Well, uh, you can take a seat if you want."  
  
She hesitated before walking over and taking a seat next to him on the sarcophogus, her feet hanging over the edge.  
  
There was silence for a few seconds.  
  
Spike ran a hand through his curly hair. "I, uh, wanted to ...thank you. For defending me."  
  
Buffy sighed. "Xander was being an ass. You were just being concerned."  
  
"Would you follow through with your threat? If he were to try and hurt me."  
  
Buffy looked up into his eyes. "Probably. Unless you just really pissed him off and you were asking for it."  
  
He laughed lightly. "I wouldn't do a stupid thing like that."  
  
Buffy laid back on the hard stone, her arms somewhere above her head. "Do you know how screwed my life is?"  
  
Spike looked back at her before laying back next to her, folding his hands behind his head. "I can't even imagine."  
  
"I have all of this stuff coming out at me, and somehow you always manage to be a part of it," she said looking at him.  
  
He smirked. "Don't mean to, pet. I can't help it if I seem to have some kind of effect on everyone I get near."  
  
"Don't you know it. Xander acts like he has to be all protective. Then we all saw how that turned out. Dawn's torn between hating you and saying you're okay. Everytime you get near me everyone has to know why you're there and I can't be within fifteen feet of you. The only one who's not like that is Willow."  
  
He nodded, remembering everything the red headed ex-wiccan had said a week ago when her and Buffy had been in the cemetary.  
  
She looked over at him, watching his facial expressions. "You were there."  
  
"What? I was not," he covered up pathetically, not wanting her to know he had been eaves dropping on their conversation.  
  
"You weren't where?" she asked with a slight grin.  
  
He relized the trap she had just thrown him in. "I..I mean...I wasn't where you think I was."  
  
She giggled at his blubbering. "That's okay. At least you know that you have someone on your side."  
  
He sighed. Relieved that she wasn't mad.  
  
"Red was right, though. You were hit the hardest last year. Brought back from Heaven. Social services. Jobs. I'm sure I didn't make it any better."  
  
She looked up at him. "You were one of the few things holding me together. You, Dawn. I mean, sure, it was confusing and disorienting, but it gave me this... confidence that I could get through the next moment, and the one after that."  
  
He stared at her. He knew she had been through a lot of things that people shouldn't have to go through. He had blamed most of it on himself. He'd ran away after almost raping her. He had broken his promise to protect Dawn. He'd let her down. Now she was saying that he had been a big help.  
  
"You know..." she started slowly. "I like this. This as in, me and you talking and laughing. Making conversation."  
  
"Hasn't happened very often, has it, luv?"  
  
She shook her head. "It did after I came back. Then you said you'd rather stay away from me than be just friends."  
  
He looked up at the ceiling. "Well, I was being a stupid git. I enjoy your company. Especially now. Even though I don't deserve it."  
  
She tilted her head. "Well, I'm not going to disagree with that." She looked up at him. "But I enjoy your company, too."  
  
He grinned at her.  
  
They sat like this for a few minutes longer.  
  
"Well, I need to get going," she said, sitting up. "I left Dawn with Willow and I need to get a quick patrol in before I head back to the house."  
  
She jumped off the sarcophogus. He sat up.  
  
"Uh, thanks for talking to me," she said, suddenly shy.  
  
"My pleasure," he said sincerly with a smile.  
  
She smiled back before turning to go.  
  
"See you later," she called.  
  
"G'bye, luv."  
  
She walked out the crypt and closed the door behind her.  
  
"That wasn't so bad," she told herself. "I think I actually enjoyed it."  
  
She started into the cemetary. She was wondering around, her mind not really with her. She wasn't too far from Spike's crypt when she was jumped from behind.  
  
Buffy landed on the ground with a grunt. She rolled over and jumped to her feet to face her attacker. It was the demon she had been telling Giles about. Its skin was slimy and sickly looking. The long spine at the end of its right palm was about four feet long. It had red glowing eyes.  
  
The demon pounced at her. She moved to the side and clothes-lined him. The demon fell on its back. Buffy was about to shove a stake in its chest, but it caught her arm and twisted it so hard that she let out a piercing scream.  
  
Spike had heard the scream and came out of his crypt to see what had happened.  
  
Buffy fell back, holding her broken arm. The demon jumped to its feet. Buffy moved back on the ground. The demon stalked towards her. It struck out with the spine. She moved to the side just before the spine hit the air where she had just been. She kicked his arm and it spun to the side. Buffy got to her feet, gripping her throbbing arm. The demon came back to face her and back handed her across the face. She stumbled, but didn't fall. Buffy wound back her good arm and punched it, then kicked it in the stomach. The demon doubled over. She brought her foot up and her boot connected with its skull. It gripped its head in pain.  
  
Buffy took the chance to move back. Then, from behind, Spike pulled the demon to the ground. The demon flipped over its back and came to its feet again.  
  
"You okay, luv?" Spike asked, never taking his eyes from the demon.  
  
"Yeah. But my arm isn't." She winced. "I think it's broken."  
  
The demon charged at Spike, punching him squarly across the jaw. Then knocked him upside the head with the spine. Spike stumbled to the side. The demon punched him several times with its left fist. Spike managed to duck the last one, and as the demon's arm went over his head, he flipped it over his back. The demon kicked Spike in the shin, then in the stomach. Spike fell back and bumped into Buffy. They both fell to the ground, Spike almost in Buffy lap.  
  
The demon had come to its feet while they had fallen.  
  
Before either could react, the demon thrusted the spine into Spike and Buffy's stomach. Both screamed bloody murder as a blinding white light overtook them. 


	7. 7

The light subsided, as did the screams. The demon pulled the spine from their stomachs and ran off in the oppisite direction.  
  
Buffy was about to pass out. She felt light headed and dizzy. She leaned back against the ground, clutching her stomach.  
  
Spike managed to turn and move to Buffy's side.  
  
"Luv. Luv? You okay?" he asked, worried.  
  
He pulled off his ruined duster and put it over her, ignoring the unbearable pain in his abdomen. He slowly lifted her in his arms and started towards his crypt.  
  
When he reached it, he placed her on the sarcophogus. She was fading in and out of conciuosness. The spine hadn't hit her spinal cord, but he was sure it had broken a few ribs. He grabbed a first aid kit he kept and went to her side.  
  
He hesistated before lifting her shirt up just enough that he could clean the wound. The spine had been a few centimeters thick and the hole in her stomach was having trouble closing. He didn't have any stitched he could give her, so he simply wrapped it in guaze. He checked his own wound, which was still bleeding a great amount. He did a sloppy job of covering it before turning back to Buffy. She needed to get to a hospital and he knew it. He didn't know if any organs had been puntured, but he did know she was losing blood fast.  
  
He gently picked her up and carried her out into the night. The hospital was about ten minutes away for a car and his Desoto was parked on the other side of town. So, he carried her the short distance to the Magic Box.  
  
He was having diffuculty carrying her. He was becomg weak from the loss of blood and the pain wasn't getting and duller.  
  
Everyone's head shot up as Spike burst through the door with Buffy in his arms.  
  
"Oh, dear lord, what happened?" cried Giles, rushing to assist the vampire.  
  
Giles pushed all of the books off the research table and Spike placed Buffy on top.  
  
Xander came from the back and Anya came from the stock room.  
  
"There was demon," Spike panted. "The one she was talking about earlier. Tried to make a shishcobob out of us."  
  
"A-Are you alright?" asked Giles, unwrapping Buffy's bloody bandages.  
  
"I'm fine. You just tend to the Slayer."  
  
Giles observed the wounds. "She needs to get to a hospital. The wound is very deep."  
  
"Of course it's bloody deep, it went right through 'er!"  
  
Giles barly sent an irritated glance at the vampire. "Xander, start your car. She needs medical attention."  
  
"What were you doing with her?" Xander asked coldly to Spike.  
  
"Dammit, Harris. Go start your bloody car. She's losing blood."  
  
Xander glared at him before running out the front.  
  
Giles placed new bandages on her before allowing Spike to carry her to the car.  
  
"He's not coming," Xander said stubbornly.  
  
"I bloody well am coming," Spike protested.  
  
"Xander, let him come for Christ's sake! He just wants to make sure she's alright," cried Anya.  
  
Xander climbed into the driver's seat and Spike climbed in the back with Giles, with Buffy in his lap.  
  
"How long ago did this happen?" Giles asked.  
  
"'Bout ten minutes ago."  
  
"What were you two doing before then?" Xander asked fron the front.  
  
Spike sighed. "Me and her had been talking. She went out for patrol and that bloody demon attacked her."  
  
"What were you two talking about?"  
  
"None of your soddin' buiness!"  
  
"I'll make it my damn buisness! She's my friend not your-"  
  
"Xander will you shut the Hell up!" Giles bellowed. "He's right! It's none of your bloody buisness, so drop it and drive!"  
  
Xander stared at the street in front of him and the car fell silent.  
  
Spike looked at Buffy's still face and brushed a loose strand of hair out of her eyes.  
  
"Come on, luv," he whispered, holding her close.  
  
//God, my stomach hurts\\ he heard her groan.  
  
His head shot up, but Buffy's face was still and her eyes closed.  
  
"Luv?" he said wearily.  
  
There was no response. Spike figured he was hearing things.  
  
//I'm going bloody crazy\\ he thought.  
  
//Spike!\\ she yelped.  
  
He had been staring straight at her face and she hadn't said a word, but he had recognized her voice.  
  
//What the Hell is going on?\\ she asked.  
  
//I don't know!\\  
  
Giles was giving Spike a strange look from his facial expressions.  
  
"Spike?" Giles asked.  
  
"Huh?" he came out of his daze. "What?"  
  
"Is somthing the matter?"  
  
"Uh, no. Course not."  
  
//Yes there is! I can hear you in my head!\\ she cried.  
  
"It's not my fault," he retorted back at her.  
  
Everyone stared at him from his outburst.  
  
They pulled into the hospital.  
  
//Oh, god. Not another hospital\\ he heard her moan.  
  
//What's wrong with the hospital?\\ he asked.  
  
//They give me the wigguns\\  
  
//Slayer, everything gives you the wigguns.\\  
  
//Yeah, but hospitals give me extra wiggy kind.\\  
  
Spike opened the car door and hauled Buffy out with everyone right behind him.  
  
Her eyes fluttered open as they entered the hospital.  
  
"Oh, god," she groaned.  
  
"S'okay, Luv. We'll take care of you," he whispered.  
  
"Can we get some assistance here?" called Giles.  
  
Two doctors rushed in a strecther. Spike placed Buffy on it.  
  
"What happened?" asked a doctor as he started to roll Buffy into the emergancy room.  
  
"She was stabbed with a pole," Spike told them. "Taking a walk and this wanker comes up with some kind of a pole and it went through her stomach."  
  
"She's losing blood," warned another doctor.  
  
The pushed her through another set of doors, and a nurse kept them from following.  
  
"Sir, you should get some help. Your wound looks worse than hers," said a nurse, touching his bandaged abdomen.  
  
"I don't care about myself. I heal fast. I want to make sure she's alright," he guestured towards the swinging doors.  
  
"A least let me clean you up and put some stitches in you so there's no infection," the nurse pleaded.  
  
Spike sighed agrily. "Fine." He guestured to the group of people somewhere behind him. "Just give me a second."  
  
He walked over to Giles. "Call Nibblet. Tell her what happened. Red's with her."  
  
Giles took his glasses off and cleaned. "Yes, I guess I should inform Dawn on the situation."  
  
"Yeah, well, this bint's bound and determined to fix me up, so I have to go."  
  
The nurse led him to a small room where she cleaned his wounds, did a few stitches, and even though he didn't seem like he had lost great amouts of blood, she gave put some blood in his system to be safe.  
  
"You're lucky it didn't hit any vital organs," she said as he stood.  
  
"Yeah. I'm real lucky."  
  
"I wouldn't suggest you straining any muscles in your abdomen and back," she suggested. "Alot of them were torn or punctured. It's just more pain on your side if you do. Plus, you lost a lot of blood."  
  
"That's what transfusions are for."  
  
"Just don't strain yourself. You'll just hurt yourself more."  
  
"I'll do that."  
  
He pulled his bloody shirt back over his head. Buffy still had his duster. He started thinking of how Buffy was doing.  
  
//I'm fine, Spike\\ she told him when she heard him thinking about her.  
  
//That's good\\  
  
//How are you? You got skeward, too\\  
  
//Just fine and dandy. A few stitches and a little blood\\  
  
//Same here. Except I was unconsious the whole time. God, I feel like a wuss for passing out\\  
  
//At least you survived\\  
  
//You know, we've been sitting here having complete mind sight conversations and it didn't even accure that this is a little weird\\  
  
//I'm guessing it had something to do with what kind of demon he was and the fact that we were both shishcobobed at the same time\\  
  
//Plus that light was wierd\\  
  
//What light? I was too busy screaming my 'ead off to notice. Painful it was\\  
  
//No kidding\\  
  
By this time, he had come to the waiting room where everyone was sitting.  
  
To his surprise, Dawn jumped up and wrapped him in a bug hug.  
  
He groaned as she put pressure on his wound.  
  
"Oh, sorry," she apoligized, moving back. Then, she hit his arm. "Don't scare me like that! Giles called and said you too got stabbed and I was worried sick."  
  
He grinned at her concern.  
  
"How's Buffy?"  
  
"She's fine."  
  
"Oh," said Giles, standing up. "Did you talk to the doctors?"  
  
"Uh, no. Watcher, I need to talk to you about something."  
  
He pulled Giles over to a corner.  
  
"Something happened. There was some kind of light when we got stabbed."  
  
"A light?"  
  
"Well, I wouldn't know. Buffy said there was. Anyway, the point is, I can read her bloody thoughts!"  
  
"You can read her mind?" Giles said, confused.  
  
"I hear her in my head and she can hear me."  
  
"Oh, dear."  
  
Giled pulled his glasses off to clean them.  
  
"There must be something about the demon that Buffy hadn't told us," Gile said to himself. "The description she gave us didn't describe any demons besides that one last year and it's spine contracted into it's wrist and didn't make someone have mind sight."  
  
"Well, I suggest you consult those bloody books of yours, cause I'd like to know how it happened."  
  
"You don't seem very....happy..about being able to comute with Buffy in a mind base."  
  
"Watcher, I'm already having a bloody good time trying to keep away from her before someone stakes me, you think I want to invade her mind?"  
  
"No, I suppose not, but this could be, uh, useful. Being able to communicate without speaking could have its perks."  
  
Spike sighed. "Fine. Give it perks. Make it useful. I don't bloody care."  
  
//Spike, be nice\\ Buffy told him.  
  
"What'd I do?" whined Spike.  
  
"Excuse me?" said Giles, giving him another strange look.  
  
//He's right. It could be useful\\  
  
//No one seems to realize the effect this has on me and my staying away from you\\  
  
//Since when do you want to stay away from me?\\  
  
//Luv, I don't, really, but I'm not screwing up whatever friendship we're getting by doing or saying something stupid. Now that I can read you thoughts, and you can read mine, I'm gonna feel like a school boy everytime I'm near you. More than that, anytime I start to think about you\\  
  
He heard her laugh in his head.  
  
//Glad you found that amusing, luv\\  
  
//Sorry. But, don't worry. Maybe we can figure out how to control this. That way, if you don't want me to hear you, I won't\\  
  
//I hope\\  
  
"Hey, Spike," called Dawn, snapping him back to reality. "The doctor says we can see her."  
  
He nodded.  
  
//Comin' to see you, luv\\  
  
//Good. It's getting lonely\\  
  
The doctor led thim to a room while Buffy was sitting in bed.  
  
"Hey, guys," she greeted.  
  
Dawn went up to Buffy and hugged her fercily, making sure to avoid her stomach.  
  
"I'm so glad you're okay," Dawn gushed.  
  
"I'm glad I'm okay, too," Buffy replied.  
  
Dawn pulled away.  
  
"Uh, Buffy," said Giles, stepping forward. "The doctor says because of the severity of your wounds and blood loss, they want to keep you overnight."  
  
"What?" Buffy's eyes widened. "No. No. I don't want to stay here. Remeber what happened last time I got stuck in a hospital?"  
  
"Yes, I am aware, but you should stay. You broke a few ribs when the spine went through you and you also have an arm broken in three different places. The doctors want to make sure you don't suffer any internal bleeding."  
  
"But what about Spike?" she pointed out helplessly. "He was stabbed too. He doesn't have to stay in the clean version of Hell."  
  
"Maybe, cause, I'm already dead, luv," Spike grinned. "I don't need watching over. A pint o' blood and I'll be good as new."  
  
Buffy leaned against the bed in a pout, arms folded across her chest.  
  
//God, I love it when she pouts\\ he thought mentally, before realizing Buffy had heard him.  
  
He saw the edges of her mouth turn up in a restrained smile. She bit her lip to keep from laughing.  
  
"What so funny, Buffy?" asked Willow.  
  
//Now they think I'm crazy too. Thanks alot\\  
  
//Glad to be of service, luv\\  
  
"Nothing, Will," Buffy brushed off. "So, uh, I have to stay here for a whole night. Someone want to stay with me?"  
  
"I would, but school starts tomorrow," admitted Dawn. "Don't want to miss the first day of school."  
  
"Same with me," added Willow. "That which is UC Sunnydale calls me."  
  
"I have to be at the site early tomorrow morning," Xander said. "Sorry, Buff."  
  
"The Magic Box opens tomorrow," announced Anya. "I must be there for the 'back to school' sale."  
  
"Anya, your store doesn't carry anything for school," said Willow.  
  
"Actually, we do. Little enchanted pencils and pens that write whatever you say. And notebooks that read what you write. Plus, if you're a Wiccan, it's a very good place to be. Like Harry Potter."  
  
Buffy raised an eyebrow at the perky blonde and then turned to Giles.  
  
"I-I guess I could stay for a little while," Giles suggested. "But I really should get home and research this, ah, demon. See of the side effects it might have on one."  
  
Buffy eyed him, turned her gaze to Spike, then back to Giles. Giles nodded slightly, then pulled off his glasses to clean them.  
  
Buffy looked at Spike.  
  
//You can stay if you want\\ she told him.  
  
//Remember what I said before? I don't want to mess this up by invading your space\\  
  
//You'd only be invading my space if I hadn't asked you in the first place\\  
  
//But-\\  
  
//Unless you have a good reason to go, you're staying. I'm not staying in this death trap all night by myself\\  
  
//What about your mates?\\  
  
//Come back after they leave, unless you want to start a confrontation in which I bite Xander's head off if he disagrees\\  
  
//As much as I would enjoy that, luv, I'll just come back after Watcher's gone\\  
  
//Okay\\  
  
The others had been looking at them weirdly when they had started staring at each other.  
  
Anya waved a hand in front of Buffy's face. "Hello, earth to Buffy. I thought you were over the whole Spike thing." Anya rocked back on her heals. "I know I am," she added to herself.  
  
Buffy snapped out of her daze and blushed a deep crimson.  
  
"Oh, uh, sorry." Pause. "You guys, I need to tell you something about when we got stabbed."  
  
The others waited.  
  
"Yeah. Anyway, Spike can kind of... read my mind. And I can read his."  
  
"You mean, like, mind sight?" questioned Anya.  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Guess so."  
  
"Well, what sort of limits does this go?" asked Willow. "Do you hurt when he's hurt? Can you see what he sees?"  
  
Buffy shrugged again.  
  
"Well, this is an easy one," said Xander coming up behind Spike and smacking him hard across the back of his head.  
  
"Ow!" Spike cried, clutching his head, glaring at Xander.  
  
Willow turned to Buffy. "So?"  
  
"I didn't really feel it..in the physical sense. It was like I felt it, but it didn't hurt me."  
  
"Okay. Now let's see if you can see what he can." Willow grabbed Spike's arm and pulled him into the small bathroom connected to the room.  
  
"What something she would never think I would do?" asked Willow.  
  
Spike set her in a position on the ground, squatted with her hands hanging loosly inside her legs, and her middle finger on her right hand in the air.  
  
"Am I going to be damned for doing this?" asked Willow, gesturing at her finger.  
  
"Not as far as I know," he replied. He opened the door slightly, "Go ahead, luv."  
  
Buffy closed her eyes and concentrated on what Spike could be looking at. At a few moments, she got a good picture of what Willow was doing.  
  
"Oh my god!" Spike and Willow heard Buffy cry from the next room.  
  
Willow burst into giggles and fell over. Spike grinned and helped Willow to her feet. They came out of the bathroom, Willow still giggling.  
  
"I can't believe you made her do that!" exclaimed Buffy. She noticed Xander was about to say something and by the look on his face it was going to be mean and hateful and directed towards Spike. "Xander, if you say one word, I will knock you unconsious myself."  
  
Xander gave her an unbelieving look, before huffing and turning away angrily.  
  
"So, that test concluded that Buffy can see what Spike sees," said Willow once she got her giggles under control. "And I'm guessing it works the oppisite way also."  
  
"Can they see what they think?" Dawn asked, interested in all of these tests being done.  
  
"Huh?" Buffy said, not know what she was getting at.  
  
"I mean, if Spike was, like, thinking about how you look or something, would you be able to see what he was imagining or thinking about?"  
  
Buffy shrugged. "It's worth a try."  
  
She closed her eyes and concentrated. Suddenly she was hit with a whirl of memories that seemed like they were on fast forward.  
  
~ First she saw herself, kissing him for the very first time after Glory had tortured him. Then, she was at the door.  
  
"What you did for me and Dawn...that was real...I won't forget it." Then she saw herself swan-diving off the tower into the energy tare. Then she when she had first come back. How he had held her battered hands a few moments before her friends had burst in. A few times flashed by when they had been sharing a decent conversation with him. Then she saw herself as he kissed her after the musical extravaganza. Then kissing him in the Bronze. Then the night in the abandoned building.  
  
"You're just...convenient." A rage of emotion went over her as she saw herself say those words. She a few other times they had had together. The Bronze, behind the DMP, at his crypt, when Riley had burst in. Then time almost froze.  
  
She saw herself under him. Screaming and pushing and shouting. Him taring at her robe. She fell back against the bed as she was hit with such a wave of remorse and pain when she had kicked him off of her, it took her breath away.  
  
"Now tell me why I could never love you!" ~  
  
Buffy eyes flew open and met his shocked ones. He looked panicked. She obviously wasn't suppose to see that.  
  
"I-I have to go," he said quickly, rushing out of the room.  
  
"Wait," Buffy cried, jumping out of bed, but a few pairs of hands pushed her back.  
  
"Buffy, stay. I'll find him," assured Willow.  
  
Willow left the room. She looked up and down the halls and didn't see him anywhere. She moved down the halls and into the waiting room. He wasn't there either.  
  
"Damn, he moves fast," she muttered to herself.  
  
She looked down a few more halls. Nothing. Then she stepped outside. She didn't see him, but something told her to look around the corner. She did, and there he was. Sitting on the ground with his back against the wall. She noticed for the first time that his hair no longer looked so white and bright. Dirty blonde curly hair was what it was now. His eyes were shining in the moonlight, telling Willow that the vampire was close to tears. She slowly approached him and took a seat on the soft grass next to him.  
  
Spike had been getting message after message from Buffy, but he ignored them. That was his most hated memory. The one thing he had been afraid she would see while she was doing her little mind search. The last thing he had wanted was for her to relive that memory. Even though she may not have tecnically 'relived' it, she had seen it play through his mind like a video tape. The memory that haunted his dreams and brought his soul to life.  
  
He eyed Willow as she sat down next to him. He didn't want to talk about it. Especially any of Buffy's friends. He felt his eyes sting at the salty tears.  
  
"What happened back there?" Willow asked softly.  
  
"She read my mind. Saw what I saw. Your little test worked. Congradulations."  
  
"What made you run away like that? Was it something she saw? Something you saw?"  
  
"Red, I know you're trying to be a good mate and help your friend, but I really don't fancy going over what I let her see."  
  
"So, she did see something. And you didn't wanted her to," she concluded.  
  
He chuckled lightly as a single tear fell over his cheek. "I would rather be staked and sent to Hell before letting her see that one."  
  
Willow nodded. She was starting to figure out what Buffy had seen. "Was it...the thing that happened? That... thing... that Xander keeps locked up, waiting for a chance to use it against you?"  
  
Spike tilted his head to the side. "I guess you could call it that."  
  
//Spike, come on, answer me\\ Buffy pleaded.  
  
//What do you want, luv?\\  
  
//What's wrong? Why'd you runaway? My friends are going crazy trying to get me to tell them what I saw\\  
  
//So tell them\\  
  
//Why are you being so short with me?\\ she replied angrily.  
  
He went to stand and Willow stood by him.  
  
"Just let me be for a while," he told both of them before stalking off.  
  
//I'll be back when Rupert leaves\\ he told her.  
  
//Okay\\  
  
Spike walked the rest of the way to his cemetary. It took him a good half hour but he made it. When Spike entered the crypt, he leaned against the wall and sighed in relief. Then he slowly slid down the wall until he was on the floor. He remembered everything Buffy had seen. He had been trying to think of just one thing to think about, but she started her little mind sight so soon that he had all of these memories flash through his head. He hadn't meant to think of the last one. That was the one he was fighting back not to see, but he did, and she saw it.  
  
He started thinking about them an hour ago. Talking, laughing, making conversation. She was right, he did like to just sit and talk. It made him feel closer to her than he really was. Angel. Riley. They had all been close to her. Spike may have had her body more, but they had her heart, which is what he wanted more than anything.  
  
He started to think about how much he had screwed up. He had tried to make her a creature of the night when she belonged in the light of day. He pulled her away from her friends.  
  
"How does she not hate me?" he asked himself.  
  
//Because you've done more good than bad\\ her reply came. She had been watching and listening to his thoughts.  
  
//Yeah, I've done a world of good to you\\  
  
//Spike, what you did was the first bad thing you have done in the past two years. That doesn't mean what you did wasn't wrong, but it's not as bad as you make it out to be\\  
  
//Yes it is\\  
  
//....Okay, maybe it is. But I told you that I forgave you. I'm giving you a chance to make things better, but you can't if your so afraid to get near me\\  
  
//Luv, I-\\  
  
//Hey, the guys are leaving. So, get your ass over here. We can talk then\\  
  
He sighed. //Okay, luv\\  
  
//And don't take to long! I don't like it here\\  
  
He smiled before picking himself up. He made sure to grab a bag of blood and get it down before heading out.  
  
He made a point of taking a few minutes. He took his motorcycle, but he kind of road around town for a few minutes to clear his head before heading to the hospital.  
  
He walked into the building and started towards her room. Then he heard the scooby gang up ahead and ducked around a corner.  
  
//You said they were gone\\ he hissed at her.  
  
//They aren't yet? They left about ten minutes ago\\  
  
//Well, they're still there\\  
  
//Oh well, you can wait\\  
  
He sighed. A few minutes later, the gang passed through the hall. Spike didn't catch the conversation and he didn't really care. He went to come around the corner.  
  
And ran straight into Dawn.  
  
He jumped a little. "Bloody hell," he muttered.  
  
"Did I scare you?" she asked with a smirk. He cursed himself for ever showing her that smirk. "You heading up to Buffy's room?" she asked.  
  
He sighed and ran a head through his hair. "Yeah. But don't tell your mates. I don't need a confrontation tonight."  
  
"I think you already covered that. Buffy never did say why you ran out the way you did."  
  
"Well, if your sis don't want you to know, I'm not tellin' either."  
  
Dawn sighed. "Fine. Anyway, it's probably something I don't want to know."  
  
"Yeah," he muttered.  
  
She saw the pained look in his eyes and dropped the subject. "Well I need to get going. Have a nice night."  
  
"Bye, Nibs."  
  
Dawn turned and walked off. 


	8. 8

Spike sauntered into Buffy's room, head down, hands in his pockets. She looked up from a magazine Dawn had snatched from the waiting room.  
  
"Anybody see you?" she questioned.  
  
"Nibs did. But, she didn't seem to care."  
  
Buffy nodded. She threw her magazine onto the small table at her side and flopped back on the pillows. "So, what do we do to pass the time?"  
  
Spike shrugged. He pulled up a stiff-looking chair next to the bed and straddled it, crossing his arms over the back. "You're the one that wanted me here."  
  
"We can play a game," she suggested.  
  
"If you going to say what I think you're going to say, don't even waste your breath."  
  
"But, I'm bored!" she said in frustration. "It'll be interesting."  
  
"Playing a bloody teen game with you would be beyond interesting, pet."  
  
"But Truth or Consequences is fun..." she whined.  
  
(A/N: I know T or D and T or C has been worn to pieces, but I need something to make things interesting.)  
  
He rolled his eyes.  
  
"Look, I'll go first. Ask me a question."  
  
He eyed her curiously. "If you had to, would you sleep with that wanker Parker, or take the whelp for test run?"  
  
Her mouth hung open for a few seconds before she mumbled, "Consequences."  
  
His grinned. "Go steal the bed pan from the bloke next door."  
  
Her eyes widened. "You have got to be kidding me!"  
  
"You're the one who wanted to play this game."  
  
She scowled, but slid out of the tall bed and silently slipped out of the room. A few minutes later, she returned with the piece of metal and a sound swishing inside of it that made Spike burst out laughing at the pissed off look on the Slayer's face. She set the bed pan on the floor and hurried into the bathroom to sterilize her hands.  
  
When she returned, it was obvious that she was out for revenge after his little stunt. She climbed back onto the bed and crossed her legs. "Now, I get to ask you a question."  
  
His laughter halted and he tilted his head back.  
  
"Have you and Angel ever ... done anything? And if so, what was it?"  
  
The look on his face was priceless.  
  
"Consequences," he grumbled.  
  
"Oh, Spike, gross!" she cried. "That kind of gives it away! That's just . . . Gross!"  
  
"Least I don't have to tell you what it was," he said under his breath.  
  
"Eww!" she cried again, but her laughter was coming to surface.  
  
Spike buried his head in his arms and waited for her giggles to cease.  
  
Once she got herself under control, her face was red and tears were falling down her cheeks. "S-Sorry! It's just . . . Ew!"  
  
"I think I get the picture, luv."  
  
She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. "Okay. Okay. Hey, now I get to make you do something stupid!"  
  
"Well, isn't that just bloody great."  
  
"Let me think." She looked up at the ceiling with a thoughtful look on her face. "Song a song. I real song, not that rock 'n roll music you listen to."  
  
"What? I can't sing. 'Sides, I don't know any other songs."  
  
"Oh, come on, you have to know some kind of song. You hung out with Dawn all last summer, don't tell me she didn't make you listen to her little boy band groups."  
  
"Yeah, but I never took the time to memorize them."  
  
"Something had to stuck," she said matter-of-factly.  
  
I thought for a minute. Dawn had made him listen to a lot of different songs he didn't like and used the it's-my-house-and-I'll-listen-to-it-if-I- want-to excuse. Actually, there were some songs that weren't that bad. Mostly because they reminded him of Buffy.  
  
Without being totally aware, he started to mummer the lyrics of one song under his breath.  
  
"You're heart is like a river  
  
Peaceful and sweet  
  
Your soul is like a secret I  
  
Never could keep  
  
When I look into your eyes  
  
I know that it's true  
  
God must have spent  
  
A little more time  
  
On you."  
  
"Pretty," Buffy commented softly.  
  
He looked up. "Yeah."  
  
There was a short silence.  
  
"Guess it's my turn to ask you a question," he stated.  
  
She nodded.  
  
He looked down at the floor instead of meeting her eyes. "Does Dawn hate me?"  
  
She paused for a brief second. "How can you ask me that? Of course, she doesn't. You're like the cool older brother she never had."  
  
He snorted. "Couldn't tell."  
  
"Then you must be pretty thickheaded."  
  
He looked at her.  
  
"She loves you. How can you not see that?"  
  
He shrugged. "Maybe the yelling, and ignoring, and glaring were effecting my sight."  
  
"Well, what did you expect?!" Buffy's voice rose. "It's not even really that you left, it's that you left without saying good-bye. You left *her* without saying good-bye. Do you know how that made her feel?"  
  
When he didn't say anything, she continued.  
  
"Like you didn't care about her."  
  
"She should know that I care about her..."  
  
"How?!" Buffy cried, throwing her hands up. "You avoid us, you won't talk to her, you left with saying good-bye and haven't even apologized to her. Of course she has mixed feelings! God, she can't read you're mind! She's not the one with a hole in her stomach!"  
  
He was silent.  
  
"I can almost guarantee that if you talk to her, she won't be mad anymore. That is, as long as you don't piss her off."  
  
He sighed. "I've found it's nearly impossible not to piss the two of you off."  
  
She rolled her eyes.  
  
"It's your turn."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"The game you were so eager to play. It's your turn."  
  
"Oh. Um..." An idea popped into her head unexpectedly. "... When did you loss your virginity?"  
  
"Consequences," he said without hesitation.  
  
She furrowed her brow. "Why? It's not that hard a question."  
  
"Consequences," he repeated.  
  
She grinned. "How old were you?"  
  
He looked up at the ceiling. "Not repeatin' myself."  
  
"Was it past seventeen? 'Cause, that's when I lost mine. You seem like the kind of guy who losses his early. I mean, because you have more.... experience."  
  
"I've lived a lot longer than you."  
  
"Still... Oh, well. Okay, consequences. Uh, you have to let me wear your duster for a week."  
  
"What? Not a chance in Hell!"  
  
"You chose consequences. Besides, it looks better on me."  
  
"Does not."  
  
"Does, too."  
  
He rolled his eyes.  
  
She held out her hands eagerly. "Hand it over."  
  
Spike looked from her hands to her face then pull off his duster in a huff. He handed it to who. She pulled it over her body. The sleeves were about five inches too long and when she stood to pull it on it almost touched the floor.  
  
"It makes you look so small," Spike commented.  
  
She pulled it around her. "It's comfy."  
  
He smirked.  
  
Buffy plopped back on the hospital bed and crossed her legs. "Okay, your turn."  
  
He grinned. Payback's a bitch.  
  
"Which do you fancy more, vampire or human?"  
  
She glared at him, but wasn't giving in that easily.  
  
"Vampire."  
  
"Oh, really. Which one?"  
  
"Ah! You already asked your question. My turn."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes.  
  
"How did you meet Harmony?"  
  
"Met 'er at a bar. The bint was drunk and so was I. You fill in the blanks."  
  
She crinkled her nose. "That's nasty."  
  
He smirked. "Okay. My turn. Which one?"  
  
She thought for a minute.  
  
//Let's see\\ she thought, forgetting that Spike could read her mind. //Angel was only one time. Spike was...multiple...times. Angel was more loving. And Spike was ... well, kind of the same...when he wasn't being kinky. Oh, screw it, I'll pick consequences.\\  
  
"Luv, you really shouldn't think so loud," he taunted. "Someone might hear you."  
  
It took her a second to pick on what he had said. "Damn you!"  
  
Spike laughed.  
  
Buffy glared at him. Then she let out a huge yawn.  
  
"Tired?" he asked.  
  
She nodded. "Rough day."  
  
"Especially for you, pet."  
  
"I'm not the only one with a hole in their stomach."  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
She reached out and poked him on the side.  
  
"Ow!" he cried, swatting her hand away.  
  
She nodded exasperatedly. "Oh yeah. You're just fine."  
  
He slouched back in his chair. "Weren't you tired, or something?"  
  
"As a matter of fact, I was about to go to sleep." Buffy pulled out the covers and pulled them up to her chest. "You're not going to bite me in my sleep, will you?"  
  
"I'd never hurt you, luv."  
  
"I know."  
  
He half-grinned.  
  
Buffy snuggled up against the pillow. "Will you turn off the light?"  
  
Spike got up from his chair and flipped the light off, leaving a soft glow of light from the streetlight outside the window.  
  
"G'night, luv," he said, sitting back into his chair.  
  
She was already fast asleep.  
  
TBC... 


	9. 9

The next morning, Buffy woke up with a groggy start, her brain taking its sweet time to catch up with her body. She sat up on her elbows, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.  
  
Spike sat in the corner in a chair, one leg swung over the arm of the chair and his head resting on her shoulder. He was still asleep.  
  
Buffy tilted her head to the side as she watched his chest slowly rise and fall.  
  
//He breathes when he sleeps\\ she mused. A smile quirked her lips. //He's kinda cute when he sleeps\\  
  
An idea sprung in her mind. //Wonder what he's dreamin' about\\  
  
She closed her eyes and concentrated on the sleeping vampire's mind.....  
  
~*~  
  
Spike stood in the sunlight, wind tousling his blonde locks. His hands were deep in his duster's pockets. He stared at the sunlight dead on, as if having a staring contest with it.  
  
"You're not suppose to stare at the sun," a soft female voice behind him spoke. "It's bad for your eyesight. Could make you go blind."  
  
Buffy, who seemed to be watching the dream from many different agles at once, was extremely surprised to see that the woman who had spoken, wasn't her.  
  
Tara stepped up behind him, a soft smile set on her lips. The wind blew her blonde-ish brown hair away from her face as she squinted at the sun. The only thing that wasn't soft or angelic about her appearnce was the harsh bullet wound that lay where her heart once beated.  
  
"It's so beautiful," Spike said in a wistful voice. "How can anyone bare not to look at it."  
  
Tara giggled softly. "It's something we see every day. You only get to see it in your dreams. It's understandable that you would be so interested in it."  
  
He glanced back at her with a half-grin. "S'at what this is? A dream."  
  
She tilted her head to the side. "More or less."  
  
"Then, why are you here?" he asked. "You look like..."  
  
"I just got shot?" she finished.  
  
He nodded. "I wasn't there when you were shot. There's no way I could have known where you were shot or what you were wearing."  
  
Tara shrugged. "Heaven's a crazy place. Some who live there have unfinished buisness, so they're allowed to communicate with others through dreams."  
  
"Why'd you choose mine, pet? I'm sure you've got a bunch of other scoobies worryin' about you."  
  
She stepped out in front of him, looking out over the grassy meadow that had suddenly appeared before him. She turned back to him. "Yours is the only one so peaceful. So Heavenly. Reminds me of home."  
  
"You mean home, as in Heaven?"  
  
Tara nodded.  
  
His brow furrowed. "And your saying the others aren't peaceful or nice. What 'bout Nibblet?"  
  
Tara half-smiled. "She's worried. About Buffy and you. It clouds her imagination, makes her dreams dark and scary."  
  
"She's not havin' a nightmare, is she?"  
  
"No. Just a dream not so peaceful as the one I'm in."  
  
"And Buffy?"  
  
Tara giggled. "She's not even asleep."  
  
Spike cocked his head, wondering why this amused her so much. Then he closed his eyes for a second, forgot about his surroundings. And he could feel her. Listening.  
  
"Bloody Hell...."  
  
~*~  
  
TBC...  
  
A/N: I am so sorry that I ended it there but I am having a crisis with this story and I HAD to end it there because this was a WIP and I HAD to spost it NOW! I'll post more as soon as possible. 


	10. 10

I just wanted you all to know that I'm really sorry about leaving you off where I did. That's not AT ALL where I had wanted to end that chap BUT I had accidentally uploaded something that I DID NOT want downloaded and the only way to not let you see it, was to replace it with another, unfortunately unfinished, chap. Well, this is pretty much the last chap, continued. So, just pick up where the last left off.  
  
*****  
  
Buffy's eyes opened to meet his, who had woken up.  
  
Buffy bit her lip, afraid that he would be mad that she had been invading his dreams.  
  
Her fear was washed away with relief as he smirked.  
  
"Couldn't stay away, could you, pet?" he said.  
  
"Yeah right," she retorted, even though he could see a light blush cover her cheeks.  
  
Buffy glanced over at a clock on the wall. "I should call Giles. He can come get us."  
  
"Where'm I gonna go?" he asked.  
  
"My house," she said firmly. "Did you honestly think that I was going to let you try and make a run to your crypt in the middle of the day?"  
  
He rolled his eyes, looking away.  
  
There was a short silence between them. Buffy stared at the wall as she thought.  
  
"What do you think Tara meant?" Buffy asked. "By unfinished business?"  
  
Spike knitted his brow. "Not sure, pet. Somethin' to do with Red, I'd wager."  
  
"Probably."  
  
More silence.  
  
The window, which was open, even though the curtains were pulled over it, let a soft breeze blow into the room, making the curtains flutter. Spike was in no danger of getting burnt since he was in the far corner.  
  
The soft air swept over Buffy's face, making her bangs float around her temple. She closed her eyes slowly.  
  
Spike tilted his head to the side. //You're beautiful\\  
  
She smiled, keeping her eyes closed. "I know."  
  
*****  
  
An hour later, Giles came to get them. There was a little argument about Spike staying at Buffy's, but Giles gave in when Buffy gave him that stubborn look he knew so well, as did Spike. He reluctantly drove them to her house.  
  
"Any luck on our demon?" Buffy asked as Giles pulled into her driveway.  
  
Giles turned off the car. "Yes. Quite a bit, actually."  
  
"Do you wanna come in and have share time?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Great." Buffy smiled. She turned to Spike, who was in the back-seat. "Let me go unlock the door before you come out, key?"  
  
He nodded.  
  
Buffy climbed out of the car and pulling the duster close since the only thing on under it was the hospital gown.  
  
"What's the what, Watcher?" Spike asked, sensing Giles's tension.  
  
Giles was silent. He stared at the steering wheel.  
  
Spike shoved the seat, snapping Giles attention. "Answer the question, mate!"  
  
Giles took a breath, went to speak, stopped, and sighed, shoulders sagging.  
  
"It's bad," Giles said finally in a soft voice.  
  
"Hey!" Buffy called from the house's front door. "You guys can come in now!"  
  
Giles quickly opened the door and climbed out.  
  
Spike was stunned for a second, trying to comprehend how 'bad' it was.  
  
"Hey, Spike!" Buffy called again as Giles walked into the house. "You comin'?"  
  
Spike looked up. He climbed out of the car, grabbing a blanket that Giles had brought, knowing he was going to be there, and ran towards the house.  
  
Buffy moved back as the blonde vampire rushed by her into the house. She walked in and closed the door behind her as Spike threw the blanket on the floor, panting slightly.  
  
"Why do you do that?" she asked, looking at him suspiciously.  
  
He tilted his head back slightly. "Do what?"  
  
"Breathe. Pant. You don't have to, but you do it anyway."  
  
He shrugged. "Habit."  
  
"Huh."  
  
He raised an eyebrow. "Why?"  
  
She shrugged. "Just wondering." Buffy walked by him and headed for the living room where Giles had sat down.  
  
Spike tilted his head to the side, then followed. Remembering what Giles had said in the car, Spike leaned against the doorway, waiting for Giles to say what was on his mind.  
  
"So, what's the deal?" Buffy asked, plopping down next to Giles, slightly wincing at the pain in her side.  
  
Giles didn't look at her. He was acting the same way he had when Spike had asked him. Silent. Tense. Hiding something.  
  
"Giles, what is it?" Buffy said, sitting forward and becoming more serious.  
  
Giles took off his glasses and went to clean them, but Buffy seized his hand, giving him a questioning look.  
  
He sighed and replaced his glasses on his face. "The demon that stabbed you and Spike, was a Derago demon. Its main weapon is the spine coming out of its wrist. The spine contains two types of chemicals, one lethal, one harmless. When both enter one person at once, one chemical takes over the other, depending on different circumstances. When it enters two at the same time, as it did in this case, it has different effects. The chemicals mixed with blood can result in different ways. Certain abilities, in this case, telepathic links between the two of you."  
  
"And.." Buffy edged on, wanting to get down to the cryptic center.  
  
"And ... there are harmful side effects. Since it entered two people, one will get the harmless chemical, and the other..."  
  
"Gets the dead end of the deal," Spike finished.  
  
"I'm afraid so."  
  
Buffy gave him a hard look. "What exactly does this lethal thing do?"  
  
"It spreads like a cancer until it covers every inch of your insides. The process can take up to three to four months. During this time, you don't even really notice until a few days or so before it kills you. You become severely ill. Even more than Xander was that time when he had almost every disease I could think of. The poison will work to shut you down. Once it succeeds, you die."  
  
"Who has the lethal poison?" Buffy asked, her voice wavering.  
  
"Well, I had Tara do a test on the blood left on the Magic Box table. And it came up positive." He turned to Buffy. "It was your blood."  
  
Buffy bit her lip, her brow furrowed, as if she was in deep thought. "Third times a charm," she muttered aimlessly under her breath.  
  
Giles, who was staring at the floor, spoke slowly and quietly. "There is... a cure."  
  
Buffy looked at him, a hopeful glint in her eye.  
  
Giles didn't look at her, or she would see the tears welling up in his eyes. "It's found in Africa..."  
  
//Oh, goody\\ Spike thought sarcastically.  
  
Buffy was still silent.  
  
"... Libya, to be precise. It's found in a particularly large oasis in the middle of the dessert. There are a few instances, that I could find, about people making it to the oasis. But none of them ever came back."  
  
"What is it?" Buffy asked finally.  
  
"No one knows." Pause. "Well, one man does. He's a shaman. He lives in an extremely small village that resides in the oasis. He knows what it is and how to get it, which from what I hear is not easy at the least."  
  
"But it's possible," Spike spoke up.  
  
Giles turned to him. "It's very unlikely and.."  
  
"But it's possible," Spike said more firmly.  
  
Giles hung his head once more. He had been afraid of this. "Yes. It is."  
  
Spike nodded.  
  
Buffy stood, her arms folded over her chest. "I'm gonna go upstairs," she told Giles, gesturing to the stairs. As she walked past Spike, she gave him a look that didn't need telepathy for him to figure out she wanted him to follow her.  
  
Spike looked back a Giles, who sighed deeply, gesturing with a slight movement of his hand that he wasn't going to make a deal of it. Spike nodded his appreciation, and turned to follow Buffy up the stairs.  
  
She came into her room, leaving the door open so that Spike could follow, and slid onto her bed, bunching a pillow under her head and pulling Mr.Gordo to her chest.  
  
Spike walked in and closed the door behind him. He looked around the room, it being the first time he had been in there since the year before. Not much had changed. A few pictures on her mirror had been replaced with newer ones. Mainly of Dawn, Xander, Willow, and Giles. There was also a few older pictures of Tara.  
  
Spike sighed deeply. Tara's death had been so sudden and brutal. That shouldn't have been how she died. She should have grown old with Willow and slipped away in her sleep.  
  
Buffy followed his gaze. Tara. //Why does everyone I love die?\\  
  
Spike glanced at her. "I feel the same way, pet."  
  
Buffy tore her glance from Tara and looked at him. "Who's died that you loved?"  
  
Spike shrugged. "Bunch o' people."  
  
She sat up, crossing her legs. "Here," she said, smacking her hand down on the bed, "come sit."  
  
He gave her a look and came over to lay on his back across the foot of the bed. Buffy noticed the pillow opportunity and laid back down, her head on his chest.  
  
A few seconds of silence passed.  
  
"How come we never did this?" she asked.  
  
He looked down at her. "Do what?"  
  
Buffy turned over so that she was facing him. "This. Just laying together. It's nice."  
  
He half-grinned. "Yeah, well, usually you were off and running the second we stopped."  
  
"Oh." Her eyes downcast.  
  
He absently played with a strand of her hair. "But you're right."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"It is nice."  
  
She smiled.  
  
Spike let his fingers move over her face, around the side of her forehead, drift over her cheek, pad his thumb across her bottom lip, and lifted her chin up with his finger. "Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?"  
  
Buffy blushed lightly. "Only about every time I see him."  
  
He half-grinned again. He laid his head back against the bed, staring at the ceiling.  
  
"You never did answer my question," Buffy said quietly.  
  
"Which one, luv?"  
  
"Who died that you loved?"  
  
She felt him tense up, his grin faded. His hand dropped from her hair and laid on her shoulder.  
  
"Sorry," she whispered.  
  
"Nothin' to be sorry 'bout, pet," he told her.  
  
"You don't have to tell me."  
  
He smiled softly. "Why wouldn't I?"  
  
She had no answer.  
  
"My mum's parents died when I was just a boy. Maybe six. My father's parents died, one when I was eight, the other when I was ten. My mum's sister died when I was twelve. Then my father died when I was nineteen, fell off a horse when he was riding. Broke his neck. Then, my mum and little sis' died the year I was turned."  
  
"How'd they die?"  
  
//Angelus\\ "Natural causes."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"And then, of course, you." His hand returned to playing with her hair.  
  
She smiled. "How could I forget."  
  
"I never will."  
  
There was a silent pause.  
  
"You're not going to die," he said softly. "Not again."  
  
She sighed. "Sometime we can't change what's meant to be."  
  
"We can change it. You heard the watcher. Take a little vacation to Africa and nic the cure. You got a few months."  
  
"You know it's a lot harder than that."  
  
"Doesn't mean I won't try."  
  
"But-"  
  
"What if it was Dawn," he countered. "What if she had already died twice as many times as you, come back, be twice your age, and lived her life to its fullest. Would it make it any easier to just let her go because it was meant to be?"  
  
Buffy bit her lip. "I guess not."  
  
"You'd still go to the end of the world for her. As would I."  
  
She gave a defeated sigh. "But you're not going to get yourself killed over this. I won't let you."  
  
"If it means keeping you alive, you can't stop me."  
  
No. She couldn't. Doesn't mean she wouldn't try.  
  
TBC...  
  
*****  
  
A/N: So... How's this? Just so that you know, in case you haven't figured it out already, I'm not just going to let her die. This story is LLLOOOONNNGGG from over. 


End file.
